Saturday, September 30, 2006

Borat - Deleted Scene

Due to time restraints, scenes like this had to be cut out of the new Borat film, due out in November.

If this wasn't funny enough to stay in the movie, we're going to guess this movie will be hilarious to the 37th power.

To watch Borat's press conference in Washington DC earlier this week, click here

Friday, September 29, 2006

Nicole Richie + Crystal Meth = Duh

Nicole Richie was photographed outside the West Hollywood Recovery Center earlier this week.

The pictures are said to be from September 27th, Wednesday - the same day Crystal Meth Anonymous meetings are held there.

It’s long been rumored that Richie’s notorious stylist, Rachel Zoe, keeps her clients thin by serving as their drug dealer. Nicole may indeed be telling the truth that she doesn’t have an eating disorder, and her thin frame could be evidence of another addiction entirely.

At least it all makes sense now. But still pretty fucking sad. Crack is wack bitch... and so is crystal meth. Just look what it did to Fergie's face.


WTF - Jessica Simpson's Face Pt. II

If you thought Part 1 of 'WTF Happened to Jessica Simpson's Face?' was scary, take a look at these 2 pictures of the once-smoking-hot star taken just yesterday.

We seriously have no idea what is causing this horrendous transformation, but it must stop immediately! ... on second thought, it would be kind of fun to see her turn into a new species.

Rosie O'Donnell Blows a Snot Rocket

We first reported on Cocaine, the energy drink, a few weeks ago.

Since that time, the hype has been spreading faster than Lindsay Lohan's gonorrhea.

Today on The View, the four most annoying women on the planet took a few minutes to discuss this new drink.

Rosie O'Donnell thought it would be cute to snort the drink. Unfortunately for Rosie, the producers of the show forgot to tell her that the drink contains cayenne peppers as an ingredient. Enjoy this video as Rosie snorts the liquid from the can, sticks a finger up her nose then blows a snot rocket onto the stage. High comedy!

What Are The Odds?

Backstreet Boy and now reality TV star Nick Carter, admitted on Howard Stern that he lost his virginity to Debra LaFave.

Don't know who Debra LaFave is? She's the hottie (and crazy) Florida school teacher who had sex with a 13-year old student.

Carter told Stern that he dated LaFave for a year and a half then broke it off because she cheated on him with a girl.

Carter kept quiet during LaFave scandal, which thrust Lafave to notoriety, because his management team was worried about the controversy.

The singer says, "My publicist is like, 'Stay as far away from that shit as you can.' She was probably my number one. But maybe that's just because it was my first. Actually a lot of the girls I've had the best sex with or best anything with have been just normal girls."

We don't know if this childhood incident has anything to do with LaFave growing up and being attracted to 13-year old boys and Carter growing up to hit women, but we'd like to think it does.


Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one!"
She replied, "`Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."

Happy Girl on Girl Friday everybody. The weekend is just about here!

Thanks again for all of the love and support. Keep the emails coming and have yourself one excellent weekend.

Beyonce Gets Hammered

Beyonce' got completely retarded at boyfriend Jay-Z's London concert earlier this week. I love this first picture below where Jay-Z is looking at his girl like, "aww shit, she's fucked up... hellooo B & G sandwich." (Paltrow on his left arm).

Click pics to enlarge.

Thanks ImNotObsessed.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Steve-O Smuggles Drugs in his Ass

Jackass star Steve-O risked the death penalty in Singapore after smuggling "ass grass" into the country in condoms.

The hellraising star refused to leave his stash of pot behind after filming in India.

He boasts: "I had filled condoms with grass, swallowed them, then shit them out in India. I flew through Singapore, though, where if you're caught as a drug trafficker, they'll hang you."

Now don't get us wrong, Steve-O is freakin hilarious and always makes us laugh, but this story would have been 10x better if he would've got caught in Singapore and was hung.


Matthew McConaughey is the new BulgeMan

Matthew McConaughey must really hate the "Sexiest Man Alive" title because he seems to be always going out of his way to completely freak everyone out.

This latest picture is just about unexplainable.

P.S. - if you don't know who Bulgeman is, all is forgiven... for now. As long as you click here.

The Funniest Video I've Ever Seen

I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but it's great

thanks to CityRag for the link

Holy Sweet Cantaloupes!

Should we be turned on or freaked out by this picture of Victoria Beckham and those 2 perfectly round cantaloupes pressed up against her chest!

thanks HollywoodTuna for the pic

Today's Motivation

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Janet Jackson Engaged to Gollum?

Janet Jackson gives partygoers something to talk about this week – that dazzling canary diamond ring on her left hand – at the album release party for 20 Y.O. in New York City.

So is she engaged to beau Jermaine Dupri, who was with her last night at the club Room Service? Her rep says no, but when asked about the ring, Jackson responded: "That’s what they’re saying!"

Hmmmmm...... sounds like the real deal to us.
At least Jermaine gives hope to creepy trolls everywhere.


Never Try To Rob a Black Belt Plumber

An Ohio plumber who thought he was responding to an emergency call Tuesday found himself instead in a fight for his life with a gunman posing as the homeowner.

Township police said the 48-year-old plumber reported he got a call for an emergency at a house at 12:30 p.m. and arrived within 15 minutes. The plumber was led to the basement, where he said the other man pulled out a shotgun and demanded money.

The plumber, who told police he was trained in martial arts, wrestled the shotgun from the man, who fled. Police called in a tracking dog and arrested a 40-year-old Ann Arbor man, who is on parole for a previous armed robbery, in a nearby wooded area.

It turned out, according to Canton Police Detective Sgt. Rick Pomorski, that the suspect had broken into the home, stolen jewelry, cash, knives and the shotgun, then called the plumber to add to his loot.

What gave this retard the idea to call a plumber and attempt to rob him? Seriously. Aren't there about 3,412 better ideas than trying to rob a plumber? Who robs plumbers?


The Coreys Comeback!

Like a flashback from 1988, we learn today that Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are reuniting for a new A&E "reality" show titled The Coreys: Return of the Lost Boys.

TV Squad reports the half hour show aims to update viewers on just what Corey Haim and Corey Feldman have been up to over the last twenty years.

Half hour show? Updating us on what the two have been up to over the last 20 years? So that means the entire season will last, umm... one hour? And WTF is up with this picture? Is it just me or does Corey Haim (left) look like a lesbian biker?

We're Not Asking The Right Questions!

Earlier this week, fat ass Nicole Richie posted on her MySpace blog -

Contrary to CNN's false accusations, I did not check myself into an eating disorder rehab. I dont know why or how this rumor started, but i am home, in LA, and very happy. I do not have an eating disorder, and I don't know how many times I have to say it. Ive repeated myself so many times, I feel like a broken record. Who ever started this rumor is evil and mean, but its not true. I am happy, and healthy, and living my life.

What CNN should have reported is that Nicole Richie has 3 waters for breakfast, a shot of heroin for lunch and 3 lines of coke for dinner... and if she's in the mood for dessert, she chows down a handful of Ex-Lax. Let's see her deny that!

Today's Up-The-Nose Picture Moment

It must be a slow day in celeb-news land when sites are magnifying the nose of Cokie Kate Moss, taken while she was performing with her boyfriend's band in Ireland.

Thanks to UK's The Sun for the pic.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Today's WTF Picture Moment

Lindsay Lohan Can't Escape High School

Our friends at IDLYITW are reporting on a story about Lindsay Lohan recently being dumped by Harry Morton (I don't even know who the F that dude is). Anyway, that's not the real "scoop".

Over the weekend, Lohan actually schemed a plot to win Harry back by trying to make him jealous, and at the same time, pissing off Paris Hilton. Page Six reports:

The devious redhead was overheard calling Hilton's ex-love Stavros Niarchos on Saturday to ask for help in getting her revenge. According to our earwitness, Lohan told Niarchos, "No one can know I got dumped . . . You will look like a total stud, and it will drive Paris crazy [if we hang out together]."... And so the pair appeared Sunday at Dragonfly in L.A. "where they held hands and made out all night and then drove in separate cars back to [Lohan's] suite at the Chateau."

How has Harry responded?

...Morton hasn't swallowed the bait..."She was just too much for him...That, and she was extremely jealous and would harass him with texts, e-mails and phone calls constantly."

What you just read has to be the gayest shit I've ever heard. I mean, yeah the whole Lindsay Lohan "revenge/jealousy plot" is stupid. But even more stupid is how sites are reporting this crap. Sure, I write about celebs. But if I got PAID to write about "who dumped who", "why he did it" and "how she's getting her revenge"... I would chop off my own penis and stick it in the garbage disposal.

Eddie Murphy Busted With Another Transvestite

Oops! Our bad. That's just Eddie Murphy and girlfriend Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown.

P.S. - when did she become a white chick? (older pic below)

Monday, September 25, 2006

What Does New Orleans Love?

Sure we could talk about the first New Orleans Saints game at home since hurricane Katrina last year. Sure we could talk about how the Saints are spanking the Falcons and the 70,000 fans are going completely ape shit. But we'd much rather share with you a love. A love that New Orleans fans have. And what does New Orleans love?

So do we!! Just not that 70's style, if you know what we mean.

(They might be referring to Saints rookie sensation Reggie Bush... but if we just assume that, than we might as well not have an imagination anymore)

WTF Happened to Jessica Simpson's Face?

Here are 2 pictures of Jessica Simpson, both taken on the same day during Simpson's trip to London.

This chick used to be so freakin cute. Who told her that it's hot to inject your lips with goo, wear 8 tons of makeup and look like a cat-person?

(click to enlarge)

Steven Tyler is Diseased

Aerosmith lead singer and winner of the CooterPunch "Creepiest Old Man Who's Had Too Much Work Done and Looks Like an Ugly Woman Award", recently admitted he has Hepatitis C.

In an Access Hollywood interview airing tomorrow night, Tyler, 58, admits that he was diagnosed three years ago but "I've had hepatitis C for a long time, asymptomatic."

"I've been pretty quiet about this," says the admitted former drug addict. "The band took a break about three years ago. … [My doctor] said now is the time, and it's 11 months of chemotherapy" — actually, interferon, which strengthens the immune system — "so I went on that, and it about killed me."

About 4.5 million Americans suffer from hepatitis C, which can cause scarring and cirrhosis of the liver.

It's not known, however, if all 4.5 million got the disease by sleeping with Pam Anderson (also infected with the disease)


M.I.L.F. Contest Being Held in Miami

A buttload of hot moms from across South Florida lined up in Miami Beach for a chance at cash prizes, a modeling agency interview and the title of 'Hottest Mom in America'... or as we at CooterPunch would call them, Moms We'd Like to Fuck.

At 5 a.m., when many partygoers are going home from clubland, a bunch of fair ladies began lining up Saturday outside an empty Miami Beach theater with no velvet rope and no bouncer.

Some wore classy, elegant dresses, while others looked set to embrace a brass pole. There were naturally pneumatic stunners and others who obviously had had some, ahem, surgical assistance.

Mark Hughes, the show's executive producer, said more than 200 women turned out for the auditions. ``We want moms who are not just physically attractive, but confident, energetic, smart and involved with their kids and communities.''

The winner will get $25,000, plus a $25,000 scholarship for her child or split among her children, an interview with a modeling agency and treatments with Restylane, an injectable antiwrinkle gel, for a year. Auditions are scheduled through October in Dallas, Chicago, Atlanta, New York City and Los Angeles. TV stations then will bid to air the show once it's done filming, Hughes said.

Homestead ''hottie'' Stacey Christidis, wearing what looked like a shirt with the bra on the outside, said she would use the prize money to pay medical bills for her daughter Malaina, 6, who has autism.

... and the rest towards a boob job, boob lift, brow lift and lipo.


Cool Candid Celeb Shots

Here is a link to a pretty cool Flickr photo set containing older pictures of candid celeb shots.

Madonna 1990

A young and not-so-gay looking Tom Cruise

Thanks CityRag

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Kate Hudson Has Six Toes

At first glance, this picture of Kate Hudson in US Weekly appears to be normal... until you look close at Kate's left foot and see THIS! C-R-E-E-P-Y

NFL One Handed Catch of the Day

This is truly a thing of beauty.

Ravens WR Derrick Mason makes a one-handed catch, jukes the defender and gains some solid yardage. Impressive!

UPDATE - ... and the picture to go along with the video!

Whose Armpit Hair?

Can you guess whose armpit hair this is?
Scroll down for the answer...

It's former meth addict, butter-face Fergie at her CD release party!

thanks to I'mNotObsessed for the pic