Friday, November 03, 2006

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

It's Friday and it's my day
Just to party
all the way to Sunday

Maybe til Monday, I dunno what day
Everyday's just a holidaaay...

Yes! Yes! YES! Friday is here hookers and hookettes. And it is our duty and our privilege to ring in the weekend the only way we know how.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday from all of us to all of you.

And a big "Thank You" for being a part of the Cooterpunch fam and for your continued support. Keep those emails/feedback coming and have yourself one hell of a weekend.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Kanye West is an Asshole

MTV's VMA Awards (EMAs) took place tonight and it's official - Kanye West is a big giant douchebag... and Justin Timberlake actually gained some credibility.

According to :

Kanye West unleashed an amazing outburst after failing to take home the award for 'Best Video' for his 'Touch The Sky' at the EMAs.

Crashing the stage as winners Justice and Simian collected their silverwear for 'We Are Your Friends', the hip hop star spat, "F*ck dis! My video cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and sh*t! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (J&S), but hell man."

His verbal tirade left audience members gasping but it didn't end there.

After the show the offended star continued to vent in the press conference.

He told the world's media he was upset because he had "the best video."

"I haven't seen (the Justice and Simian video). Possibly it could have been quite good but no way better than 'Touch The Sky'.

"That is complete bullsh*t, I paid a million. Obviously it's not all about the money, but the response it got transcended everything, it really made great TV.

"It took a month to film; I stood on a mountain; I flew a heliocopter over Vegas. I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award. Please press people print 'Kanye says f*ck that!"

After Kanye's temper tantrum on stage, host Justin Timberlake told the crowd, "After the show, Kanye will be in the parking lot accepting awards he did not win. Seriously though, I've got sexy covered, it's good to see someone's doing crazy."


Fuck Kanye West. His first CD was dope, his 2nd CD wasn't and now he's cooked. Good riddance crybaby bitch.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Matthew McConaughey's Secret Revealed

Curious as to how Matthew McConaughey is rockin' the bulge? I think the answer has been found -

An Australian company claims to have produced the men's equivalent of the "Wonderbra" -- a range of "Wondercup" underwear designed to enhance the apparent size of the contents.

"It basically lifts, separates and extends," aussieBum founder Sean Ashby was quoted as saying by the national AAP news agency.

"This design uses all of the natural assets of the person, whether they be big, small or indifferent."

The underwear features a "wondercup," a pouch used to "separate and stop squashing."

Ashby said the design, launched last week, had attracted a lot of interest in the United States and Europe.

The marketing campaign features the slogan: "The new 'wondercup' technology in these attention-grabbing, all-cotton Patriot briefs will have you seriously looking bigger and feeling amazing."

The brand is sold in some of the biggest department stores in the world and is distributed to more than 70 countries via Internet sales.

Death to any self-respecting man who purchases this wondercup. Unless it truly gets you laid.


Borat on Letterman video

In the past week, Borat has introduced himself to mainstream American media and put his movie promotional tour into 6th gear.

His biggest appearance yet was on the Late Night with David Letterman Show earlier this week. Pretty funny stuff. Enjoy!

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

K-Fed Booed Off Stage reports that Kevin Federline was booed off a West Hollywood stage after only performing one song.

KFed tried to turn it out at The West Hollywood Halloween Carnival, but failed to impress. Even before the music started for his first song and current single Privilege, the boos hit. Half of the crowd filled the night air with their moans of displeasure forcing KFed to vacate the stage after only one song.

At what point will this half-a-retard realize he's in the wrong business and finally give it up? And WTF kind of costume is that? A cape? Hooray for creativity.

Kelly Clarkson Likes to Eat

... a lot

These pics are from last week's CMT tribute to Reba McEntire.

Instead of paying tribute to Reba, Kelly should've stayed home and paid tribute to her treadmill. And no, we're not encouraging girls to starve themselves, but Kelly looks even bigger now than she was in her American Idol days. But whatever, she'd still get it.

Thanks IDLYITW for the pics.

Lindsay Lohan Admits to Being a Whore

"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person. It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet. My mom's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people!"

- Lindsay Lohan reveals in a new interview with the News of the World

That would explain a certain recent rash...
and I thought we had something real. Bitch

When Did Pam Anderson Turn Into...

Pam Anderson showing off her new Linda Hogan look. Can't tell which one is Pam and which is Linda? We can't either!

Both are now fug, tranny freaks. Congrats!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Cooterpunch Crew Kidnapped?

I'm not quite sure what happened to the boys, but I haven't heard from them since early Friday morning, mumbling something about having inside information on Nicole Richie's rehab stint and how one of them was recently tagged with a rash 'down there' after Lindsay Lohan demanded him to put it in her bad place... since then, they've disappeared. We'll keep you updated on their whereabouts and hopefully they'll turn up somewhere soon and get us our news back!

- Vick