Friday, August 25, 2006

Travelers - What to Expect Soon

(I particularly like the "Liquid Inspection Facility")

Transformers movie - WTF happened to Megatron?!?

Details are emerging from the new Transformers movie and this one just ain't good.

What you see above is the Megatron we all know and loved to hate growing up. Not to mention he transformed into a fucking gun. Could he have been more bad ass?

The hideous, piece of shit picture you see below is how Megatron will look in the upcoming Transformers film.

Can someone please tell me WTF is up with him transforming into a jet and having Freddie Kruger fingers? He looks like a metal Predator. Not good.

If Optimus Prime transforms into a unicycle, I'm going to start a boycott...

(click pics to enlarge)

Reader Suggestion - Girl on Girl Fridays!

One of our excellent readers suggested we have a Friday tradition around here. She brought up the genius idea of Girl on Girl Friday. And for that suggestion - we salute YOU!!!

And since it's a bit late on Friday, we're going to give you enough for Girl on Girl WEEKEND. Fair enough?

And to think it all started with a dream....


Thursday, August 24, 2006

Teens Thought the House was Haunted - They Were Right... Sort of

As a kid, was there a house in the neighborhood that you heard was haunted?

Did you ever check out the house to see if it really was haunted?

Hopefully you answered no, unlike these poor teens in Worthington, Ohio who thought it would be cool to check out the local "haunted house" at 10pm last night. But before they even got to the house, they got shot with a .22 caliber rifle.

The house wasn't actually haunted. It was just occupied by some crazy looking 40 year old guy living with his mother.

The girl in the picture above got shot in the head by this handsome fella and is now in critical condition.

This story reeks of To Kill a Mockingbird mixed with a little Psycho.

Judge Orders Community Service for Cell Phone Ringing in Court

judge doesn't F around!

An Indiana judge detained and questioned a row of spectators when a cell phone rang 3 times in her courtroom. She later ordered two people to serve community service for contempt of court.

"The next time you come to court, don't bring your cell phone!", said the judge.

We couldn't have said it any better.

Although we're wondering - these people were said to be "spectators" in the court room. Does anyone work anymore? Can't they find something more entertaining to do than spectating in a court room? I'd rather play chicken, driving into oncoming traffic than to sit in a courtroom all day.

Videogames Becoming a Bit Too Lifelike

The picture above was taken from a new game coming out soon for the Xbox 360.

At first I thought the nice gent in the background was offering the other guy a piece of gum... I guess that's not what he's doing.

Today's Motivation

As Always, Dane Cook Tries Too Hard

Just like in his shiteous stand-up routine, Dane Cook tried too hard. This time it left someone toothless. And not just anyone. The most beautiful woman in Hollywood.

Jessica Alba
is missing a tooth after an over-zealous love scene with new movie co-star Dane Cook left her needing dental work.

The "Sin City" star was shooting kissing scenes with Cook in their upcoming film "Good Luck, Chuck" when the couple's teeth clashed.

She explains, "I lost a tooth. Isn't that disgusting? Dane and I were smashing our faces together."

Hey Dane, this isn't one of your boyfriends. You can't just headbutt someone before trying to kiss them, you big f'ing 'tard. Chicks don't find that sexy.


Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Another Stupid Robber Gets Pummeled

I seem to be hooked on these foiled robbery stories.

Last night in Utah, some moron walked into a 7-11 store and asked for a carton of cigarettes. Instead of handing the nice cashier payment for the cigarettes, he instead took the carton and proceeded to exit the store.

When the clerk followed the man outside and told him to stop, he turned around and punched her in the face. Bad move.

Just as this dick face was about to punch the clerk again, a bad ass ex-marine / martial arts trainer came to the rescue. He grabbed the cooter rag, threw him on the ground, put his hands behind his back, sat on him and waited for the cops to come.

The ex-marine / hero was actually standing in back of the robber in line when he tried to steal the cigarrettes. Now call me a genius, but if I ever decided to rob a 7-11, I'd make pretty damn sure there was nobody else in the store... well, maybe execpt for a blind old lady or something.

Jesus Found Hanging Out With Baby in Womb

See it?? That's him! Jesus Christ is hanging out with a 7-month old baby.

Thanks to ultrasound, a modern miracle that Jesus himself created, we are able to see JC hovering above little baby Joseph. Joseph? Ooh what a coincidence!

You see, after the mother discovered Christ kickin' it in her womb, she decided to name her son Joseph. Which, I guess is an upgrade over the name they had originally picked out, Dumpy (I looked at the couple's picture and kinda put 2 and 2 together on that one)

Got Concert Tickets.... Need More Stoner Friends

I won good seats to the 311 / The Wailers show Friday night at Nissan Pavilion in VA from a radio show this morning.

And as much as I used to dig 311 and as bad ass as The Wailers (Bob Marley fame) are, I'm not driving down there.

Unfortunately, I don't have anymore stoner friends to give the tickets to. Because honestly, only a stoner would drive 2 hours to a show, right?

* UPDATE: I planned on giving the tickets to my hippy brother and his friend but the fucking radio station didn't send them. They expected me to pick them up at the station, which is in Virginia... I'm in northern Maryland.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

unShocking News of the Day - Tom Cruise gets fired

No real shocker here. Paramount has fired Tom Cruise after 14 years of business together, because of the nutjob's off-screen antics.

Soo Tired...

After picking up Madden '07 at midnight, then losing in a Madden tournament, I got home around 1am and played my new game until about 4am. My f'ing dog woke me up at 8:30am and I'm still not fully recovered. I'm guessing fresh air might do the trick but I'm not sure I can make it to the door...

Monday, August 21, 2006

Are You Ready For Some Football Bitches? It's Madden Time.

You videogame nerds know what I'm talking about. Tomorrow's the day! Or if you're lucky, tonight's the night! Each year in August, Madden is released for every videogame system on the market. This has turned into an unofficial holiday for guys around the world.

To date, the Madden franchise has sold over 50 million copies. And this might be their biggest year ever. By the end of 2006, EA Sports will have released a copy of Madden for 7 systems (Xbox 360, Playstation 2, Xbox, Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii, Ninendo DS and Sony PSP).

The football season doesn't kick off in September, it kicks off with the release of Madden.

And we'll be at our local Best Buy for a special Midnight Release which will include a Madden tournament where the winner receives a free copy of Madden '07.

Are you ready for some football bitches?!??!

More on "Madden Holiday" from an article I wrote here

K-Fed's Performance on Teen Choice Awards

We tuned in last night to watch Kevin Federline (Mr. Spears) performance on the Fox Teen Choice Awards and wow, what a piece of shit it was. Between half the lyrics getting bleeped, we do remember him rapping about his Lamborghini and Ferrari... oops, we mean Britney's Lamborghini and Ferrari. What a douchebag.

And speaking of Britney, she came out to introduce the perfomance barefoot, pregnant and chewing gum. Ok, only 2 of those 3.

No wonder this guy couldn't get a record deal and had to sign himself to his own label. Well, that and the fact he's Kevin Federline.

To watch the entire mind-numbing performance, click here

Sunday, August 20, 2006

We Found a New Mascot

Nothing says funny like a completely insane baby.

Kevin Federline to Embarrass Himself Tonight

FOX must be getting some serious cash from someone in Britney's camp. Mr. Spears will be closing out tonight's Teen Choice Awardswith, what is sure to be, a shitty performance. Don't miss it!

Optical Illusion time

If you look at the above images from your seat in front of the computer - Mr. Angry Dude is on the left and Miss Normal Calm is on the right. Get up from your seat, and move back about eight feet. They switch places! You might even be able to even squint your eyes to see it.

Now take a look at this picture below and jot down that first thought that comes to your mind. Then show the same picture to your young innocent child and ask him/her about their thoughts.

The mind of a Pervert: You saw a dude grabbing some boobies from behind.

The innocent mind: A child will see nine dolphins in the picture. Young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.

Now try to identify the 9 dolphins. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds (or in my case, freakin impossible), your mind is indeed corrupted and you probably need help.

Mini Ballparks

The Cal Ripken World Series has been taking place since Friday here in the Baltimore area. It's an international little league World Series with teams from all over the world competing.

And since it's free to get in, I figured I'd check it out today. My main interests were the actual 'ballparks'. A little history on this cool project -

Beginning in 2000, in the Ripkens' hometown of Aberdeen, 30 miles north of Baltimore, construction began on the Taj Mahal of kids' baseball parks. The 56-acre facility has cost about $40 million The complex features a 6,500 seat minor league Single-A ballpark (already being called the nicest minor league park in the country), six youth diamonds dressed up as classic parks, and a camp/conference center with room to sleep 400.

In one category, Ripken already appears to be out-Littling the Little League World Series: corporate sponsors. Corporations, many with long-standing ties to Cal, are ponying up as much as $500,000 to sponsor the Ripken Series. Title sponsor Chevy Trucks will have outfield billboards and will air commercials featuring Ripken. Other sponsors are paying to attach their names to events, including the Century 21 Home Run Hitting Contest.

I've been to the Single A park once, but the youth parks were just recently completed. Here are some pics I took while visiting there today -

Cal Ripken Sr. park (scale replica of Oriole Park @ Camden Yards)

(click pics to enlarge)

scale replica of Fenway Park

scale replica of the O's old ballpark - Memorial Stadium

scale replica of Wrigley Field

Our Favorite Little Plumber Gets Bleeped

Who knew Mario could hold his own when it comes to stand-up comedy? Check out this clip of videogame's all time greatest icon getting a few laughs and even gets himself "bleeped".