No Lindsay or Paris News Here, Ever!

Not that we were ever big on reporting Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan news in the first place, but now it's just fucking stupid.

If you check out PerezHilton.com, you'll see a damn soap opera brewing between Lohan, Paris and Paris' new fuck-buddy, Britney Spears.

Something about throwing drinks on each other, calling one of them a cunt and all sorts of high school drama. Sounds pretty intense, right? This was all just in the past few days.

Fast forward to today, the same site has a picture of all 3 whores, sitting in a car together, taken just last night.

If I was a flaming celeb gossip reporter who took myself somewhat seriously, I would feel like a complete tool for getting giggly like a schoolgirl and dedicating all of my time to this "feud" only to see them hanging out together the next day. How legit does that make you?

And this is why we will not be updating you on the latest Lohan/Paris drama. We'd rather give you more important stories. News that matters, like... ummmmmm......
yeah we have no idea.

Today's Music is Gay

Am I the only one who thinks today's most popular bands are also the most gay?

I finally realized this while watching MTV's VMAs. Actually, I haven't even watched the show yet. I felt compelled to write this while watching My Chemical Romance's pre-show performance, where the log jammer lead singer whines about how his father used to take him to see a marching band in a parade. WTF? It's probably the gayest song I've ever heard.

And what is it with these little pussies and their gay "emo" haircuts, painting their fingernails and expecting us to respect their music? How can I respect you when you're busy taking pictures of your cock and wearing eyeliner?

Music sucks today. It's all so shitty and manufactured, I can't tell any of these bands apart anymore. And it's not just crappy pop/rock music. Hip hop is in the same shitty state.

Today's music needs more true bad asses. Guys who don't give a fuck about their feminine side and their insecurities and just want to rock your fucking head off.

So quit the whining about how your mommy and daddy didn't give you enough attention and how you enjoy parades and start making some kick ass music.

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It's Official: John Travolta is Gay

After much speculation, rumors and stories - photographic evidence has finally appeared.

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Justin Timberlake takes a giant dump on Taylor Hicks

"The guy who won - people think he looks so normal, and he's so sweet, and he's so earnest, but he can't carry a tune in a bucket..."

"If he has any skeletons whatsoever; if, God forbid, he's gay, and all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like, 'Oh, my God, I voted for a queer!' It's just too much pressure." - just a few quotes taken from a recent Fashion Rocks magazine interview with Justin Timberlake, whose new album is due to be released in September.