Paris Hilton fires her lawyer, gets a new one

Here's a shot of Paris Hilton after firing her lawyer, Howard Weitzman, in person today. She then hired DUI defense lawyer Richard Hutton.

Too little, too late dummy!

source: ImNotObsessed.com

Paris Hilton - Heading to jail the only way she knows how

As you probably know by now, Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in a county jail for violating her DUI probation.

And in Paris Hilton fashion, just days before freedom is taken away - here she is walking down the street while flashing everyone... and giving a few thousand bulldykes a taste of what's coming their way.

No Lindsay or Paris News Here, Ever!

Not that we were ever big on reporting Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan news in the first place, but now it's just fucking stupid.

If you check out PerezHilton.com, you'll see a damn soap opera brewing between Lohan, Paris and Paris' new fuck-buddy, Britney Spears.

Something about throwing drinks on each other, calling one of them a cunt and all sorts of high school drama. Sounds pretty intense, right? This was all just in the past few days.

Fast forward to today, the same site has a picture of all 3 whores, sitting in a car together, taken just last night.

If I was a flaming celeb gossip reporter who took myself somewhat seriously, I would feel like a complete tool for getting giggly like a schoolgirl and dedicating all of my time to this "feud" only to see them hanging out together the next day. How legit does that make you?

And this is why we will not be updating you on the latest Lohan/Paris drama. We'd rather give you more important stories. News that matters, like... ummmmmm......
yeah we have no idea.

Paris Sleeps With Lindsay

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have decided to kiss and make up. From the New York Post's Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan is playing with fire. She's now decided to be best buds with her former nemesis Paris Hilton, and the two even had a sleepover in Las Vegas this weekend. On Saturday night, the terrible twosome arrived arm-in-arm to Michelle Trachtenberg's 21st birthday party at Tao and spent the night signing autographs for fans and whispering to each other. Then the ditzy duo retired to the $25,000-a- night Sky Villa at the Palms - for a naked pillow fight.

Ok so we added the word naked at the end there. But the pillow fight part was all NY Post.

** Waiting for the GooTube video of said footage **

Paris & Nicole Kiss, Make Up, Visit the Dead

The 2 smartest girls on the earth have kissed and made up.

That's right, Paris and Nicole are buds again. They were first spotted together a few days ago and now comes word that they're being forced to work together for next season's The Simple Life, so they figured they might as well bury the hatchet and get used to each other again.

Their most recent outing together was to a cemetery and McDonalds. Seriously. View the video here.

P.S. - does Nicole look like death in the first picture?

Skinny Photoshopped Celebs

Not too far from the real deal !



Thanks for the link CityRag
Rest of pic here

Paris Gets Punched by Former Playmate

It looks like former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker's soon-to-be-ex-wife finally got her hungover ass out of bed and went to beat down the chick banging her husband.

TMZ has learned that Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler have both filed police reports early Wednesday morning, alleging each was attacked. Paris says Moakler socked her in the jaw. Moakler claims Paris' ex, Stavros Niarchos, shoved her down some stairs and poured a drink on her.

Paris' publicist told TMZ that his client was at Hyde nightclub Wednesday night and at approximately 1:10 a.m. she says she was approached by Shanna, who allegedly began screaming obscenities at her. Hilton says at that point Moakler struck her in the jaw with a closed fist as she continued to shout profanities. Mintz says Moakler was restrained and several people helped Paris exit Hyde. Mintz says Hilton never touched Moakler.

Hilton and her publicist then went to the LAPD's Hollywood Division where she filed a police report, alleging battery.

Moakler also went to the station to file a report against Stavros Niarchos.

We couldn't write a better script than this. Two hot chicks fighting over a 120 lb. tatooed dude with a lip ring, 2 kids and a mohawk. Throw in a punch to a spoiled bitch's jaw, an ex-Playmate getting thrown down some stairs by a Greek giant and you've got yourself a Grade A, pay-per-view event.

Paris Hilton is Half a Retard (UPDATE 1)

While we try to stay away from Paris Hilton news, in fear of becoming just like every other site on the internet, this is too good not to share.

Paris Hilton was questioned by the LAPD during the investigation into the home-invasion robbery of Girls Gone Wild owner Joe Francis (in which he was tied up, had his pants pulled down, was taunted by a dildo, and forced to admit on tape that he enjoyed gay sex) and in the audio tape admits she's not very bright.

Below are excerpts, via "Dateline NBC" -

on Hilton's relationship with Francis:

L.A. Prosecutor Hoon Chun: Somebody's describing you know taking a videotape -- a compromising videotape-- tying up an ex-boyfriend of yours...
Hilton: He's not my ex-boyfriend...

Chun: I'm sorry. It's someone you dated?...
Hilton: No.

The information she initially shared with Francis after learning about it at a party:

Hilton: Like I really...I don't remember. I'm not like that smart. I like forget stuff all the time.
Detective Koman: Don't cut yourself short.
Hilton: But I don't remember. I don't remember.

Hilton being blackmailed after her own notorious burglary in August 2004:

Chun: Anybody trying to blackmail you with regard to...those private tapes that were taken from your Hollywood Boulevard residence?
Hilton: They were asking for money, but nothing ever happened.

Chun: Who was asking you for money?
Hilton: Some guy on the phone. I don't know. He was talkin' to my girlfriend about. I never talked to anybody...

Koman: Okay, your girlfriend?
Hilton: They...wanted money. They were tryin' to sell it to like a newspaper or something.

Koman: Who was the guy?
Hilton: I don't know.

Koman: Who was your girlfriend?
Hilton: Um, she was like ...

Koman: Spell that name.
Hilton: I don't know how to spell it...I was in Miami shooting a movie and I just heard about it. They were like ...some guy's tryin' to sell like the tapes to like a magazine. So if you pay somebody, then you're gonna be paying for the rest of your life. My dad always taught me. They'll keep the tape anyway.

UPDATED because last few lines were originally left out

thanks to HollywoodRag and the Superficial

Paris Hilton Arrest Pictures

As a follow-up to our Paris Hilton getting arrested for a DUI story, here are exclusive pics (thanks TMZ!) of Paris getting cuffed and taken away by L.A's finest. "Awesome" isn't even close to being the perfect word to describe these. What's the word for "so fucking kick ass multiplied by infinity"?

Paris Hilton Busted While Driving Drunk

What a shitty week for Paris Hilton. Last Thursday night, she was photographed CRYING after being denied access to a VMA post-party at NYC hotspot Bungalo 8.

Fast forward to one week later (today), she was arrested on a DUI charge late last night / early this morning.

Police confirmed that Hilton failed field sobriety tests and blew over the legal .08 blood alcohol content limit.

Her spokesperson is already spinning the story, claiming Paris was driving home from a charity event where she had one drink. She was "shooting a music video" for her album earlier that day and the DUI symptoms were likely from having an empty stomach and working all day.

Oooooo K! It's about time she got arrested for driving like an asshole. Last November, she let her drunk ex-boyfriend crash her $200,000+ Bentley while the paparazzi recorded the whole thing. No arrest then. Guess it was only a matter of time.

We love when gazillionaires fuck up and their lives spiral out of control!


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