Monday, May 07, 2007

We *heart* Ryan Freel

If you don't like baseball, f*ck you and don't read any further.
We kid, we kid!!! (seriously, please come back tomorrow)

But Ryan Freel of the Cincinnati Reds is one of our favorite baseball players. The guy plays balls out, day in and day out.

Example, tonight against division rival Houston Astros - Ryan Feel, playing third base, chases a foul ball about 4 rows deep and lands on a few fans' heads.

Sure he doesn't come up with the catch, but not many professional baseball players would even give that ball a 2nd look. Props to the crazy S.O.B for risking his neck to try and make the play.

Sorry for the crooked angle... we've been drinking.

Happy Nip Slip Monday

Thanks to the fine folks at Egotastic.com for this excellent picture of Natalie Portman and her side boobage, taken recently.

Then this always THIS picture of Natalie nakie in a new movie...

* click to enlarge *









Paris Hilton - Heading to jail the only way she knows how



As you probably know by now, Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in a county jail for violating her DUI probation.

And in Paris Hilton fashion, just days before freedom is taken away - here she is walking down the street while flashing everyone... and giving a few thousand bulldykes a taste of what's coming their way.

Pics of Lindsay Lohan snorting coke




In today's not-so-shocking news - Lindsay Lohan is a coke whore! Sure we've said it in the past, but here's proof!

News of the World not only posted these pics from a video of Lohan snorting some blow in the bathroom, but also talks about how she's flying to NY to fuck Jude Law, among other fun things:


LINDSAY Lohan, fresh from rehab, has been pictured taking part in a marathon cocaine binge.

Sordid snaps of her snorting the drug and shoving it up a pal's nose was taken as she and two friends crammed into a club toilet during a wild night on the town.

Then the Mean Girls star bragged to the others: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to fuck Jude Law."

Now a friend of the 21-year-old actress says she is spiralling out of control since rehab and revealed that Lohan:

SNORTED 20 lines of cocaine in ONE night alone

STRIPPED down to a thong before inhaling the drug off a coffee table

BRAGGED of wild sex sessions with a host of celebrities including singer James Blunt and model Calum Best.

The friend added: "Lindsay does not care who sees her do coke and where she does it." And she has not managed to stay off the booze either.

"She carries round a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda.

"I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become. When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her.

"I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out.

"One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat."


More pics below.



Matthew McConaughey is Still Crazy



Flynetonline.com posted these recent pictures of Matthew McConaughey, doing what he does best - working out with a gay headband and looking like he's from another planet.

We've posted Matthew McConaughey news in the past, mainly because the dude is just so freakin out there and insane.

It's good to see things haven't changed with the one time "World's Sexiest Man Alive"

"Sure, I'll let you put this many fingers up my ass"

Newsweek has a sense of humor

MSNBC.com today posted a story from the latest Newsweek mag talking about cheerleading and how its popularity is bigger than ever. Screw the story though. The only part worth noting is the picture used at the top of the story (above).

Friday, May 04, 2007

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

I'm always workin' slavin' every day
Gotta get a break from the same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say


Ooh snap, lookie here. It, it... it looks like a Cooterpunch.com Girl on Girl Friday!

Damn straight hookers and hookettes. Happy Girl on Girl Friday from all of us to all of you. And while you likely thought we off'd ourselves months ago, we're still kickin it and we just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who sent emails, asking what's up with the 'Punch and how much they miss us. So for you, we at least wanted to give you the Friday that you were used to looking forward to each week. Enjoy kids and have an excellent weekend.




Thursday, January 25, 2007

Mic check

1, 2.... test.... this thing on?

Friday, December 08, 2006

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been

Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.

And I've made up my mind

I ain't wasting no more time

but here I go again...


Yeah, so it's been a slow week here at Cooterpunch. But don't take that the wrong way. We still love you.

And to show our love and appreciation, we're hitting you with the best damn Friday celebration money can buy. Money? Ha! This shit's free. Happy Girl on Girl Friday!! And thank you all for the love and support you've shown Cooterpunch and keep the feedback coming. Have an excellent Friday and an even better weekend!














Thursday, December 07, 2006

WTF Happened to Beyonce's Face?



Bitch better get a refund on that shitty face lift.
Thanks to loyal Cooterpuncher Kiana for the tip.