Scarlett Johansson - Nose Jobs Rock!
Big ups to Scarlett Johansson's cosmetic surgeon for helping Scarlett win Esquire's "Sexiest Woman of the Year" award!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Funniest Celeb / Dog Combo Award Goes To...
TMZ posted this picture of our boy Jorge Garcia, who plays Hurley on Lost, with his little rat-dog. Let's hope, for the rat's sake, Jorge doesn't step on the little bastard in the middle of the night while lumbering downstairs to the kitchen for a 3am fried chicken & Twinkie binge.
Carrie Underworld Helps Illiterate Hillbillies
American Idol winner and country music superstar Carrie Underwood is joining an Oklahoma literacy campaign called "Read Ya'll". Seriously. It's called "Read Ya'll".
And people wonder where stereotypes come from. At least Carrie didn't come up with the name. But if she did, it wouldn't matter because she's damn hot. She could be as dumb as a blind sloth and we wouldn't care.
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Lil' Kim is a Feline
It's kind of hard to imagine Lil' Kim used to look like this (below) and now looks like a plastic cat. And to see what Kim will look like in 5-10 years, click here and scroll down. (warning, you might throw up a little)
Lay off the surgeries bitch!
Katie the Giant or Tom the Midget?
We've seen this recent picture of Creepy Tom Cruise and Hostage Katie Holmes floating around the internet for a week or so now and figured it had to be posted here. It's just too weird to ignore anymore.
What a cute couple!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Matthew McConaughey and Darwinism
BWE posted this picture, showing what former "Sexiest Man Alive" Matthew McConaughey will look like in a few years, thanks to the theory of evolution. Looks about right.
By the way, the NY Post's Page Six reports that McConaughey has been sporting the headband lately to cover up his latest hair plug implants. The second time he's had them done. Nice.
George Michael is a Freakin Mess
Back in the late 80's, I thought George Michael was the man. I was younger back then and really had no idea he was gay. And while I now know that he is gay, I still stand by the fact George Michael is the shit. Great songs and great music videos (the dude had supermodels getting nakie in his "Freeom '90" video) make him a hall of famer in our book.
He's been in the news during the past year for doing things like falling asleep in his car after giving himself the date rape drug (GHB), crashing into parked cars and busted in a public park late at night while looking for random gay sex.
But recently he's kicked off a world tour which began last week in a sold out Barcelona stadium. His first tour in 15 years. With his career appearing to be back on track, it seems he might have fucked it all up again.
In London early this morning, George Michael was arrested on suspicion of possessing marijuana after police found him slumped over the steering wheel of his car.
Michael was arrested after police responded to complaints that a car was blocking an intersection in North London at 3:22 a.m. Sunday. He received a caution for possession of cannabis and was released on bail on a charge of being unfit to drive. He has a November court date.
This dude has millions of dollars, can probably pull just about any tail he wants (guy or girl) and yet does dumb shit like getting all retarded and trying to drive. What's wrong with staying in your house and doing whatever the hell you want? Ease up George. Your title run as CooterPunch's "Coolest Gay Dude on the Planet" could suddenly come to an end!
news article
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Rough Day at Work
Below is from the PalmBeachPost.com police blotter -
An employee at a fast food restaurant said that a man and a woman were in the backseat of a black Oldsmobile that was driven by another man and they ordered food. The employee said the man and woman were having sex.
The employee told the driver to pull to the front of the business because of a mistake in the order. The employee stepped out of the business and handed a bag to the woman. The woman then said that he touched her breast. The naked man exited the car and attacked the employee. The employee tried to run into the business, but the man followed him and punched him in the eye.
The man was lying on the ground with his body half inside and half outside, causing the door of the business to be open. The man stood up, went into the business and stumbled several times as he walked toward the bathroom. The officer made contact with the man who smelled like alcohol and had slurred speech. The man was arrested.
And you thought your job sucked. It's bad enough having to work a fast food drive-thru window, but when you get the beat down by some naked dude, you might want to look into other career opportunities.
Daughter Busts Abusive Mom With Camera Phone
What do you do when your mother sits on you?
For one Florida teenager, the answer came easily: Pull out your cell phone and call for help. And while you're at it, snap a photo.
Early Friday, just before 2 a.m., Tiffanie Haynes, 18, and her mother, Theodosia Haynes, 37, were deep in a shouting match.
According to the Hernando County Sheriff's Office, Tiffanie didn't like that her mother was intruding into her personal business.
The shouting escalated.
Theodosia followed her daughter into her bedroom and pinned Tiffanie on the bed by sitting on top of her.
Somehow, Tiffanie managed to get out her cell phone and call 911. Then she snapped a few photos on her phone to document what her mother was doing.
She shared them with Deputy Michael Stegner when he arrived.
Theodosia was arrested and charged with misdemeanor domestic battery. For her part, she told the deputy that she was just restraining her daughter so that the fight wouldn't get worse.
We don't know if sitting on your kid is child abuse or domestic battery, but it's pretty fucking weird. Who sits on their kids?
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