A parking attendant in Rio de Janeiro sawed a woman in half over a parking dispute.
The victim illegally parked in front of a building. The parking attendant got pissed off, followed her into her home, killed her and cut her in half.
And to think I've never even keyed someone's car after they stole my parking spot. I'm such an angel.
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If Tom Cruise knocked on your door and asked for some Valium, you wouldn't think twice about hooking him up, right?
Well this guy had the same idea in mind, because according to this article, the suspect has gone to real estate open houses and torn apart medicine cabinets and drawers for the homeowner's prescriptions.
The suspect was described as being about 5 feet 9 inches tall, weighing 180 pounds, with short, dark hair. In two instances, he was driving a dark blue pickup truck with equipment in the back.
The article forgot to mention that the suspect actually is Tom Cruise.
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See it?? That's him! Jesus Christ is hanging out with a 7-month old baby.
Thanks to ultrasound, a modern miracle that Jesus himself created, we are able to see JC hovering above little baby Joseph. Joseph? Ooh what a coincidence!
You see, after the mother discovered Christ kickin' it in her womb, she decided to name her son Joseph. Which, I guess is an upgrade over the name they had originally picked out, Dumpy (I looked at the couple's picture and kinda put 2 and 2 together on that one)
No real shocker here. Paramount has fired Tom Cruise after 14 years of business together, because of the nutjob's off-screen antics.
