Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

Don't know what color your eyes are baby
But your hair is long and brown
Your legs are strong, and you're so, so long
And you don't come from this town
My head is full of magic, baby
And I can share this with you
The feel I'm on top again, baby
That's got everything to do with you who hewww I'm ALIVE

Yeah yeah what's up hookers and hookettes!! We're here today for one reason and one reason only. To give you what you need. To give you what you've been waiting for all week. To present to you the reason why Friday is the absolute, greatest freakin day of the week. Happy Girl on Girl Friday!!

Today's Girl on Girl Friday is brought to you by our friends at Gelaskins.com , for those of you looking to give your iPod a bad ass twist of style and originality.

We'd also like to thank YOU for helping put Cooterpunch.com on the map. We're back up in this bitch and word has definitely been spreading like Britney Spears' beaten up roast beef sandwich on Paris Hilton's hot leather seats. Keep the feedback coming and thank you mucho for stopping by. Here's to a kick ass Friday and one excellent freakin' weekend. Hugs and kisses bitches.

WTF Happened to Meg Ryan's Face?

Our friends at Popbytes posted this latest shot of Meg Ryan from Star magazine and all we've got to say is WTF?!?

Britney Spears Cooter ... All The Cool Kids Are Doing It

We might as well join in on the fun that is Britney Spears and pics of her flappy lips, C-section scar, beaten up cooter / pussy.

I made 'em nice and small on the main page here so only click if you are not at work, around kids or near your girlfriend/wife.

Warning, the enlarged versions are a bit scary.

This Dogg Loves Him Some Jail

Snoop Dogg has been arrested for the third time in three months after police found weapons and narcotics in his vehicle during a roadside stop.

The 35-year-old was detained by police near Los Angeles yesterday after leaving the NBC studio where he'd taped a performance on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

Police spokesman Sergeant Kevin Grandalski said a search found marijuana, cocaine, a firearm and a false compartment in his car. The hip-hop star, real name Calvin Broadus, was booked, and bail was set at $60,000.

Last month the rapper was arrested on suspicion of illegal drug and gun possession at the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, California. In September Californian authorities discovered a collapsible baton in his bags as he boarded a New York-bound flight from John Wayne International Airport. He surrendered to police earlier this month to face charges of possessing a deadly weapon. In May, the rapper was cautioned by British police following his April arrest for affray at London's Heathrow airport.

Rich people confuse me.

If you're going to do coke, smoke weed and carry guns - do you have to carry all that shit around with you in public? You don't think cops follow ol' Snoop around, just waiting for him to slip up? Hey Snoop, real hardcore rappers have stash boxes in their cars. Time to look into that idea, you big dummy.

Oh and in case you were wondering - Yes, that is Snoop on stage with American Idol winner Taylor Hicks.

So gangsta.

source

Wednesday's WTF Picture Moment - Christmas Edition

Nintendo Wii Brings out the Cursing in all of Us

It's been a while since we've shown our dorky side and talked videogames. But this past month was big for videogames.

Nintendo launched their next generation console called the Wii.

And Sony launched their next generation console called the Playstation 3.

We won't get into all of the details, the comparisons, etc. Just know this - the Nintendo Wii looks to be a whole buttload of fun with it's motion sensor controllers and gameplay.

In this video (thanks to our buddies at MaddenMania.com), you'll see daddy videotaping his young daughter while she swings the Wii stick, or in this case, the Wii golf club.

It's a damn cute video, up until the last few seconds where frustration turns into hilarity. Enjoy!

Borat Breaks up Pam and Kid Rock?

Following up on our Pam Anderson / Kid Rock divorce news - it looks like Kazakhstan's 4th most popular celebrity might have been the reason behind the recent split.

Quoting this news story -

The couple reportedly entered into a blazing row (British for argument) after watching BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN at a private screening together.

Onlookers claim Rock, real name BOB RICHIE, became enraged by his former BAYWATCH star wife's role in the spoof film - in which Borat, played by SACHA BARON COHEN, travels across America to get close to the blonde beauty. A close friend of the pair tells PageSix.com, "(Film producer) RON MEYER held a screening of Borat at his house for a bunch of people, including Pam and Bob. It was the first time Bob had seen the movie, and, well, he didn't like it. "Bob started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' - in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing.

"Pam thought he could have a sense of humor about the movie. She was in on the gag from the very beginning and loved doing the movie. And on the eve of what was supposed to be a very positive thing, he made it an awful night. Ever since that night, it has been icicles between them." Anderson filed for divorce yesterday (27NOV06) after less than four months of marriage.

Whoa wah wee wuh! Lighten up BOB! Let's hope he's less dramatic during next week's private screening of the Pam and Tommy Lee tape.

Gasoline, Cement... How Cocaine is Made

Mmm!!

Cityrag posted this tasty video of cocaine being made.

Just makes ya wanna go snort a fat line, doesn't it?

.

Why Didn't I Think of That?!

Our old buddy over at SpaceCaptain.org posted this and we had to share.

It's a vaccuum cleaner that you (well, not you, your kids) can ride! Freakin genius! Where do I get one? You know, for my nephew and stuff...

Our Girl of the Day - Hilary Duff

Not only did the cutie dump that pussy Joel Madden, she also got her enormous fake teeth fixed!

She looks so much better now.

Of course not as good as "slightly chubby Hilary" from a few years back, but we'll take it.

So here's to you, newly single, fixed grill girl of the day.

Thanks CelebBitchy for the pic

Jessica Simpson Sex Tape

You read that shit right.

Jessica.
Simpson.
Sex.
Tape.

Fuck a Britney and K-Fed tape. This right here has us doing backflips.

According to FemaleFirst, the tape was made while Jessica was married to ex-husband Nick Lachey.

The alleged X-rated home movie is said to show the 'Dukes of Hazzard' actress and her ex-husband Nick Lachey engaged in a number of sex acts.

A source told Britain's Daily Sport newspaper: "Jessica is horrified her name and sex tape are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."

According to reports the tape does exist and has fallen into the hands of the individuals responsible for leaking the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex video.

It has been claimed that they are threatening to leak the tape if Jessica does not pay an undisclosed sum of money to keep it out of the public domain.

Good God.

If this is true, I seriously might explode into flames.

Pam Anderson Files for Divorce

Didn't see this one coming!

In today's Not-So-Surprising News - TMZ is reporting that after just 4 months of marriage (and like 12 different ceremonies), Pam Anderson is filing for a divorce from husband Kid Rock.

She's claiming he beat the crap out of her.

Really?

Is that what happens when you drink all day and are completely bored with life?

It's a shame there were no warning signs for Pam to see or anything...

Stars Without Makeup

We love when celebs look like shit. It makes us feel normal and better about ourselves.

So thanks to Star magazine for helping boost our egos and helping make us all feel a little better about ourselves by posting these trifling pictures in your latest rag. (and thx to PopBytes for posting)

*click to enlarge*

No Lindsay or Paris News Here, Ever!

Not that we were ever big on reporting Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan news in the first place, but now it's just fucking stupid.

If you check out PerezHilton.com, you'll see a damn soap opera brewing between Lohan, Paris and Paris' new fuck-buddy, Britney Spears.

Something about throwing drinks on each other, calling one of them a cunt and all sorts of high school drama. Sounds pretty intense, right? This was all just in the past few days.

Fast forward to today, the same site has a picture of all 3 whores, sitting in a car together, taken just last night.

If I was a flaming celeb gossip reporter who took myself somewhat seriously, I would feel like a complete tool for getting giggly like a schoolgirl and dedicating all of my time to this "feud" only to see them hanging out together the next day. How legit does that make you?

And this is why we will not be updating you on the latest Lohan/Paris drama. We'd rather give you more important stories. News that matters, like... ummmmmm......
yeah we have no idea.

WTF Happened to Carrot Top's Face?

CityRag posted a sickening collage of recent Carrot Top pictures which simply cannot be ignored.

This guy is the new Michael Jackson.

What the fuck did he do to his face?! Years of steroid abuse? Botched cosmetic surgeries? AIDS?

Lindsay Lohan's Days Are Numbered

In this week's "Not Surprising At All" news - the National Enquirer is reporting that an out-of-control Lindsay Lohan overdosed on a deadly cocktail of cocaine and painkillers on Nov. 12. A doctor raced to Hollywood's Chateau Marmont after a friend of the 20-year-old actress found her unconscious in a drug-filled hotel room.

Although the doctor was able to revive the hard-partying star, he was horrified to discover a "stash of cocaine and a pile of prescription drugs" in the room, an insider told The ENQUIRER exclusively. The doctor flushed the cocaine down the toilet and bagged up seven different prescription drugs, according to the insider.

"The doctor insisted, 'This girl had a serious drug overdose. She has to go into a hospital and then into rehab.'" Lindsay refused to be treated at a hospital or enter rehab.


Ok, so it's the National Enquirer, but this might be the most believable story ever printed by the rag.

Ooh Lindsay. So sad. Except not at all.

Salma Hayek is About to Float Away

These things just seem to get bigger and bigger with each and every picture we see of her... and that's a damn good thing. We'd love to rest our head on these big, fluffy funbags for about 12 straight days.

Thanks Egotastic.com for the pic!

Britney's Sexy Parts

I may be incorrect here, but I believe this is a first!
Even if its not, it needs to be posted, shared, admired and loved!! Thank you Britney and thank you Mr. Photographer.

Peek-a-boo!

Teste... teste... 1, 2 3.... comments? On? Broken? Hmmmmmmmmm...