Friday, September 01, 2006

Candy Spelling Takes a Giant Dump on Daughter Tori

Remember Beverly Hills 90210? I watched the first few episodes because it was new, there was lots of hype surrounding it and I was a dumb kid.

I couldn't watch much after those first few episodes because of Tori Spelling. I hated that bitch. Her character Donna, I hated her too. But that was really because I just hated Tori Spelling. She scared me. Her horsey face and shitty acting didn't seem to fit in. Obviously she was on the show because her father, Aaron Spelling, was the producer.

Well now, in a strange turn of events, I'm feeling sorry for Tori.

You see, Tori is just about broke. Her father was worth $500 million when he died this past June. Four months before his death, he updated his will to leave 95+% of his fortune to his to his wife. And on top of that, Tori likely won't see a dime from her late father's will because her mother hates her.

Her mother Candy is a mean, heartless bitch and is giving Tori none of her father's fortune. Not only that, she just sold her late husband's Beverly Hills mansion for an insane $130 million to an Arab prince. Rumor has it that she's already bought a new house and moved in with her new boyfriend.

And you thought that was a kick in the uterus for Tori? The most shitty part was that Tori had to find out her father died from a friend who heard it on TV! That cold, heartless bitch of a mother didn't even have the decency to tell her daughter that her dad had died.

Look, I don't know what happens to us when we die. But I have a strong gut feeling that Candy Spelling will be tortured in ways most of could never even imagine.

Hang in there Donna Martin. We're on your side this time.