Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

Wake up in the morning,
clock says half past one
I have no sunglasses
As I step into the sun
There's no recollection
of the evil things I've done
My head feels like I must've had some fun

Ok so it's been a slow week here. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. BUT, hopefully you still love us... even a little bit? You do know today is Girl on Girl Friday, right? Ahh, there we go. Much better!

Have an excellent holiday weekend everyone, thanks for stopping by and Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

Today's Funniest Headline

Man with panties on face attempts to rob W.VA store
(actual headline on local newspaper's website)



INWOOD, W.Va. (AP) — A thief covered his face with a pair of blue women’s underwear and used a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter in a botched robbery of a convenience store, police said.

“I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried,” State Police Sgt. T.C. Kearns told The Journal in Martinsburg.

The cashier at first thought it was a joke and refused to give the man any money, so he ran to a Jeep Cherokee and drove away at about 4 a.m. Wednesday, Kearns said.

A few minutes later, police stopped a vehicle matching that description and took two men into custody.

Police later charged Steven Clay Stephenson, 34, of Ranson in the convenience story robbery.

Kearns said police found a pistol-shaped lighter while searching Stephenson. The underwear was recovered nearby.

Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

He was being held Thursday at the Eastern Regional Jail. The Berkeley County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office had no record of a defense attorney being assigned yet to represent Stephenson.

The funniest part of the story?
Not the panties on the head part.

But look at what he was charged with -
Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

Nighttime burglary? Does that carry a heavier punishment than daytime burglary?

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

If I could bottle my hopes in a store bought scent
They'd be nutmeg peach and they'd pay the rent
And I'd ride a horse, and I'd teach a course
on how I got to be a star crossed pimp

Well holy crap.

We go away for a bit, come back, and it looks like you might've missed us jussst a bit. Ok, more than just a bit.

We had more hits this past week than we've ever had. Ever. Tens & tens of thousands of hits this week and damn it feels good! We know the love is there. We feel it in the emails we get everyday. Whether it's criticism or the always welcomed, "Hey! Love you guys. Love the site. Keep doin what you're doin" ; we love it all. And yes, we've heard your cries for a comments option... stay tuned.

Hey we almost forgot. Happy Girl on Girl Friday hookers and hookettes!! Have yourself one excellent weekend and thanks again for all the love & support. Make sure to let your friends know about Cooterpunch!

Cooterpunch catch of the day

While we're not from Chicago, we never miss an opportunity to catch the Cubs anytime they're on TV during the day. And today was no exception.

Check out this nice grab in dead center field by a little Cubs fan. We enjoyed it so much, that we wanted to get it on video and share it with you.

It's moments like these when you're a kid that help make certain ball players your favorite. Just as I'm sure Aramis Ramirez is now this kid's favorite baseball player. Nice catch kid.

Sacha Baron Cohen to play Queen frontman Freddie Mercury?

Sacha Baron Cohen is set to play Freddie Mercury in a movie about the Queen singer's life, it has been reported.

The comic - who reportedly based his character Borat's look on the late music legend - is said to be the front runner to play Freddie seeing off stiff competition from Johnny Depp.

A source told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "Filmmakers are working flat out to get the best possible script. Sacha loves the idea he can get away with playing Freddie after modeling Borat's look on him."

The movie is being developed by Robert De Niro's company Tribeca Productions.

Last month, it was reported that 'Pirates of the Caribbean' star Johnny was in talks to play Freddie.



'Bohemian Rhapsody' singer Freddie - who passed away aged 45 from an AIDS-related illness in 1991 - was widely considered to be one of the greatest performers in British rock history.

Sacha, 35 - who is best known for his comic alter-egos Ali G and Borat - is currently working on Tim Burton's forthcoming movie 'Sweeney Todd'.

The BAFTA winner is engaged to Australian actress Isla Fisher, 31.

And let us just point out, if Freddie Mercury were alive today, he would easily be the most bad ass gay dude on the planet... knocking George Michael down to #2


source

Mom wants to eat placenta. Hospital says no. Mom sues.

A Las Vegas mother is battling a local hospital over the ownership of a placenta. Anne Swanson gave birth at Sunrise Hospital last month, and wants her placenta so she can ingest it for its nutrients. But Swanson says the hospital has told her the organ was contaminated, and she would have to go to court to get it back.

Yesterday, Swanson and a group of other women protested outside the Maryland Parkway hospital, with signs reading "Free the Placenta." A spokeswoman for Sunrise Hospital would not discuss the case, but says placentas are kept in cold storage for three days and are disposed if there is no request to keep it. Swanson says she'll contact the ACLU and Planned Parenthood to get the placenta back. But because it is contaminated, she has no plans to turn it into pills for consumption. Traditional Chinese medicine suggests that the excess hormones in placentas can treat postpartum depression.

Hell, if she wants to eat the placenta, let her eat the damn placenta. But handle it like they do at some of those buffalo wing joints where they serve "911" wings and make the bitch sign a waiver.


source

WTF Happened to Christina Ricci's face?

W T F ?!?

We've always believed Christina Ricci to be a complete butter face. She's way hot. But her face... 'eh.

But with this shot taken Monday night out front of The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York for some big fashion gala, she went from ButterFace to G.I.L.F. in record time.

When did she turn 61 years old? YIKES.

Paris Hilton fires her lawyer, gets a new one

Here's a shot of Paris Hilton after firing her lawyer, Howard Weitzman, in person today. She then hired DUI defense lawyer Richard Hutton.

Too little, too late dummy!

source: ImNotObsessed.com

George Lucas takes a dump on Spiderman 3

At last night's Time magazine dinner for the 100 most influential people, Star Wars creator George Lucas talked to Fox News about some of the projects he is working on.

But most interesting was when he began talking about this summer's movies.

From FoxNews.com:

Lucas told me he has seen all the summer movies since his company, Industrial Light and Magic, does most of the special effects. The only one they didn't work on was "Spider-Man 3." What did he think of it?

"It's silly. It's a silly movie," he said. "There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?"

Well, it's not "Star Wars."

"People thought 'Star Wars' was silly, too," he added, with a wink. "But it wasn't."

Spiday hater!

Whatever Georgie. Just get on your next project - Chewbacca vs. Spidey - Wookie vs. Arachnid

Tell me that shit doesn't scream BLOCKBUSTER!

Gossip Rag covers rule

No words needed here. Just enjoy.