Today's Funniest Headline

Man with panties on face attempts to rob W.VA store
(actual headline on local newspaper's website)



INWOOD, W.Va. (AP) — A thief covered his face with a pair of blue women’s underwear and used a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter in a botched robbery of a convenience store, police said.

“I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried,” State Police Sgt. T.C. Kearns told The Journal in Martinsburg.

The cashier at first thought it was a joke and refused to give the man any money, so he ran to a Jeep Cherokee and drove away at about 4 a.m. Wednesday, Kearns said.

A few minutes later, police stopped a vehicle matching that description and took two men into custody.

Police later charged Steven Clay Stephenson, 34, of Ranson in the convenience story robbery.

Kearns said police found a pistol-shaped lighter while searching Stephenson. The underwear was recovered nearby.

Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

He was being held Thursday at the Eastern Regional Jail. The Berkeley County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office had no record of a defense attorney being assigned yet to represent Stephenson.

The funniest part of the story?
Not the panties on the head part.

But look at what he was charged with -
Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

Nighttime burglary? Does that carry a heavier punishment than daytime burglary?