Paris Hilton is Half a Retard (UPDATE 1)

While we try to stay away from Paris Hilton news, in fear of becoming just like every other site on the internet, this is too good not to share.

Paris Hilton was questioned by the LAPD during the investigation into the home-invasion robbery of Girls Gone Wild owner Joe Francis (in which he was tied up, had his pants pulled down, was taunted by a dildo, and forced to admit on tape that he enjoyed gay sex) and in the audio tape admits she's not very bright.

Below are excerpts, via "Dateline NBC" -

on Hilton's relationship with Francis:

L.A. Prosecutor Hoon Chun: Somebody's describing you know taking a videotape -- a compromising videotape-- tying up an ex-boyfriend of yours...
Hilton: He's not my ex-boyfriend...

Chun: I'm sorry. It's someone you dated?...
Hilton: No.

The information she initially shared with Francis after learning about it at a party:

Hilton: Like I really...I don't remember. I'm not like that smart. I like forget stuff all the time.
Detective Koman: Don't cut yourself short.
Hilton: But I don't remember. I don't remember.

Hilton being blackmailed after her own notorious burglary in August 2004:

Chun: Anybody trying to blackmail you with regard to...those private tapes that were taken from your Hollywood Boulevard residence?
Hilton: They were asking for money, but nothing ever happened.

Chun: Who was asking you for money?
Hilton: Some guy on the phone. I don't know. He was talkin' to my girlfriend about. I never talked to anybody...

Koman: Okay, your girlfriend?
Hilton: They...wanted money. They were tryin' to sell it to like a newspaper or something.

Koman: Who was the guy?
Hilton: I don't know.

Koman: Who was your girlfriend?
Hilton: Um, she was like ...

Koman: Spell that name.
Hilton: I don't know how to spell it...I was in Miami shooting a movie and I just heard about it. They were like ...some guy's tryin' to sell like the tapes to like a magazine. So if you pay somebody, then you're gonna be paying for the rest of your life. My dad always taught me. They'll keep the tape anyway.

UPDATED because last few lines were originally left out

thanks to HollywoodRag and the Superficial