Paris Hilton Arrest Pictures

As a follow-up to our Paris Hilton getting arrested for a DUI story, here are exclusive pics (thanks TMZ!) of Paris getting cuffed and taken away by L.A's finest. "Awesome" isn't even close to being the perfect word to describe these. What's the word for "so fucking kick ass multiplied by infinity"?

Man Arrested for Stealing $7mil - But That's Only Half of it

After getting arrested for stealing $7 million from your company to fuel your gambling habit, I'm sure you'd feel like you just got kicked in the satchel and life couldn't possibly get worse. That is, until you get bailed out by your wife... and your girlfriend.

An executive charged with stealing $7 million from his company to fuel a gambling habit hit the daily double yesterday when his wife and his mistress appeared in court together to bail him out of jail.

Yoshio Yamaki, 56, bowed to the two women in his life as they stepped forward in Brooklyn Federal Court to sign a $350,000 bond freeing the former president of Sigma USA after six weeks behind bars at the Metropolitan Detention Center.

Magistrate Judge Lois Bloom uncovered the love-triangle after she asked a few routine questions of the bond-signers.

"I am the wife," Hiroko Yamaki informed Bloom through an interpreter.

"I met him in a restaurant. ... We live together," explained Megumi Tsuji, who is a hostess in a Japanese restaurant.

The judge appeared momentarily flustered and explained she did not intend to embarrass the women. "Mr. Yamaki, you are an incredibly lucky man," Bloom said.

Yamaki had phoned his wife last January to say he wasn't coming home to their Long Island apartment before moving into Tsuji's apartment in Queens.

In two previous attempts he had failed to get a bail package together, but finally managed to persuade the wife of 23 years to help him out.

According to court papers, Yamaki went on betting sprees in Atlantic City, Las Vegas, the Bahamas and Connecticut. A tipster blew the whistle on him in an anonymous e-mail to his older brother and company chairman Michihiro Yamaki, who founded Sigma, a top camera maker.

Now that just sucks. We hope he enjoys his time in prison with a new wife and girlfriend, who will both have a penis.

source

Lesbian Bride Punched in Face at Her Wedding

What's more fun than a lesbian wedding? (besides a lesbian honeymoon) - a brawl at a lesbian wedding!

A lesbian bride was left with a black eye when her gay wedding ended in a mass punch-up in the UK.

Up to 20 guests were said to have brawled at the reception after a comment made by a male relative. He then fled in the bridal car, complete with white ribbons, as police and ambulance crews arrived.

Trouble flared shortly after 9.30pm. Vanessa was punched in the face, and left sobbing for her honeymoon in Turkey.

A male guest also needed first aid to a facial injury — and the bash ended early to prevent any further trouble.

What a shame..... that the guests couldn't stick around to watch the bride and bride get drunk and make out on the dance floor.

Paris Hilton Busted While Driving Drunk

What a shitty week for Paris Hilton. Last Thursday night, she was photographed CRYING after being denied access to a VMA post-party at NYC hotspot Bungalo 8.

Fast forward to one week later (today), she was arrested on a DUI charge late last night / early this morning.

Police confirmed that Hilton failed field sobriety tests and blew over the legal .08 blood alcohol content limit.

Her spokesperson is already spinning the story, claiming Paris was driving home from a charity event where she had one drink. She was "shooting a music video" for her album earlier that day and the DUI symptoms were likely from having an empty stomach and working all day.

Oooooo K! It's about time she got arrested for driving like an asshole. Last November, she let her drunk ex-boyfriend crash her $200,000+ Bentley while the paparazzi recorded the whole thing. No arrest then. Guess it was only a matter of time.

We love when gazillionaires fuck up and their lives spiral out of control!


source

Britney's Daughter to be Named....

Jailyn.

That's what the NY Daily News is reporting as Britney Spears' second child's name.

She claims the name Jailynn is in honor of her parents, Jamie and Lynn; and her little sister, Jamie Lynn. The child is also reportedly set to be delivered via C-section and will share the same birthday as Sean Preston, September 14.

While it's way easy to shit on Britney nowadays, at least she's not naming her kid Moonbounce or something. A lot of these celebs get retarded with their kids' names so it's good to see a few celeb babies with half-normal names. Even if it is a combination of 3 family members' names. Good for you Brit.

Now get a fucking divorce and move back to Louisiana so you can raise these little tater tots with your parents.

Sony Again Drops the Ball on PS3 Launch

During this year's big E3 videogame conference in L.A., Sony promised the world that 1 million Playstation 3 systems would be launched worldwide.

Those who know better, knew not to believe the B.S. these guys were feeding us this time around. And sure enough, Sony just announced that the "worldwide" launch is actually going to only be Japan and North America. Oh, and that 1 million systems at launch? Well, it's more like 500,000.

Give Sony credit though, they held the videogame console crown for the past few years. But due to their stupidity (and a $600 price tag), it's time to give up the title boys. Thanks for playing.

Baseball Broadcaster Blyleven Blurts Out F Bomb

On the "Funny Live TV" scale, nothing beats someone saying "Fuck" and not realizing they are live. So imagine how funny it would be if someone said "Fuck" twice before realizing they were live. Check this clip for a "fucking, fucked" laugh from this past weekend.

Edit - the F up happens around the :45 second mark

Dummy Burglar Lays Down Gun, Gets Shot

In Fort Worth, TX yesterday - a suspected burglar was shot with his own gun.

The burglar knocked on the front door to see if anyone was home. When nobody answered, he broke in through the rear patio door.

The homeowner wasn't able to answer the door right away, but when he looked to see who was there, he found a gun lying on his sofa.

He picked up the gun then walked into a bedroom where he noticed the burglar going through his stuff. The burglar reached for his pockets and the homeowner shot him... several times!

Fortunately for the burglar, he remains in critical condition but is expected to survive his injures, police officials said Tuesday.

Let's hope the burglar doesn't try to work the system like this dickhead tried to do.

source

Top 10 Jackass Stunts

Nothing beats the original Jackass boys doing their thing.
Here is a site celebrating their top 10 stunts.

One of my personal faves skit is below.

Remember hookers and hookettes, Jackass Number Two is in theaters September 22.

For the Ladies - Justin Timberlake Rolling Stone Cover

Here's a shot of the upcoming Rolling Stone cover featuring Future Sex / Love Sounds' Justin Timberlake (click to enlarge)

Look familiar?