CooterPunch

Southwest Airlines reject girl - naked

2007-11-16T20:00:00.000-05:00

Remember this story?

Long story short - she's now naked.
Click here. Enjoy the silicon/saline goodness!

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-27T09:09:00.000-04:00

You say our love
Is like dynamite
Open your eyes
'Cause it's like fire and ice
Well you're killing me
Your love's a guillotine
Why don't you just set me freeeeeee

What's up hookers and hookettes?!

We hope you had a great week. And you know that when we ring in the weekend, we come correct. This Friday, no exception. Happy Girl on Girl Friday peoples!

It was a busy week, even without much updating. Beyonce's little spill seemed to be pulled from just about every site, including ours. But we backed up the video just before it was yanked and have been hosting it since. We still watch it a few times a day for a good laugh. And it looks like a crapload of you might've loved watching it more than we did. That shit is funny!

So thanks for the love and support. We've received lots of feedback recently and we love it! Keep it coming. Cooterpunch loves you more than your mom.

Beyonce falls again!

2007-07-25T09:21:00.000-04:00

Bitch needs walking classes. Check the video of Beyonce falling head first down some steps during a show in Orlando on July 24th

This isn't her first spill. Remember this?

Props to the girl for still rockin' it after the tumble though.

Video was taken down but we have since re-uploaded it

Cooterpunch reminder - Don't forget about our weekly Girl-on-Girl Fridays!!

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-20T10:54:00.000-04:00

And I'm back on the reef,
where I throw my net out into the sea.
All the fine hinas come swimming to me.
They hold me and they promise me things.
And when the tides high I cry like a little baby.
Don't give me no right kind a love no Sunday morning.
I don't want no puppy loving.

Oooooh hell yes! What's up hookers and hookettes?!? Hope you had a good week.

We're here to kick off your weekend the best way. Happy Girl on Girl Friday! Have an excellent weekend and thanks for stopping by.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-12T23:52:00.000-04:00

'Cause the walls started shakin,
The earth was quakin,
My mind was achin',
And we were makin' it and you...

What's up hookers and hookettes?!?

Hope you've had a good week. If you're on the East coast, you might have actually melted by now. It's been insanely hot! And since today is Friday, we plan on adding to the heat baby. Happy Girl on Girl Friday!!!

We hope you have one hell of a weekend! Thanks for stopping by.

*click to enlarge*

The DC Madam - phone records

2007-07-10T00:53:00.000-04:00

We'll admit it - we're not big fans of politics. In fact, most politicians are jokes to us. So when “The D.C. Madame” / Deborah Jeane Palfrey decided to actually go through with her threat to publish her potentially damaging phone records, we became interested.

Unfortunately, as soon as the records became available on her site, the site crashed.

But we were quick enough to grab what we could before the ship went down and would like to share what we have so far (08/22/06 and 12/22/05... more coming soon)

And for the fallout, just click here and watch these guys go down like flies. Already apologizing for their "very serious sins". We love this shit!

(click to enlarge)

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-06T09:15:00.000-04:00

Out on the streets,
that's where we'll meet
You make the night,
I always cross the line
Tightened our belts,
abuse ourselves
Get in our way,
we'll put you on your shelf

Heeeey what's up hookers and hookettes!

We hope you've been having an excellent holiday week so far. Friday couldn't have come sooner. And of course, we like to ring in the weekend with style the only way we know how.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday to our peoples!!! We love you guys. Keep the emails coming. We love hearing from you!

Anyway, have one hell of a weekend everyone and thanks for stopping by!

Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo sex tape pictures

2007-07-05T22:09:00.000-04:00

This is too good not to share.
Nick Lachey banging the living shit out of girlfriend Vanessa Minillo while in Mexico. Almost looks staged, doesn't it?

*click to enlarge*

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-06-29T00:04:00.000-04:00

I got her and her sister in...
that white Benz,
dyke twins,
I ain't gonna lie they only fives
but together they tens
And would I do 'em again?
Hmmm, hmmm?
Its like old folks pissin cuz it all depends

What's up hookers and hookettes? It's been too long since we welcomed in the weekend with a healthy dose of Girl on Girl Friday. We've been getting spanked with emails asking what the deal is. So we decided not to leave you hanging much longer.

Have a great Friday peoples and an excellent freakin weekend. Te amamos mucho!!

Sopranos fans: Unhappy with the ending? Well read....

2007-06-11T15:20:00.000-04:00

I read this today and am glad I did. Because it all makes sense now and turned the Sopranos finale from shit to shine...

Tony DID get whacked. The only question is by who?

Remember first Bobby's comments to Tony earlier this season about getting whacked (which were also replayed either last week or the week before). He said something to the effect of "you don't see it coming, you don't feel nothing, everything just fades to black". That was your ending.

As for the who, take note of the credits for the folks in the restaurant at the end. The guy at the counter that goes to the bathroom is Nikki Leotardo, Phil's nephew. The black men are the same ones that shot Tony in season two, but only clipped his ear. Oddly, the Boy Scouts were in the store last week when Bobby got it, so they are going to have some issues, but my money says it wasn't the Boy Scouts.

My money says that based on the title, "Made in America", it was the trucker with the hat that read "USA". The same trucker who was the brother of the trucker that Christopher robbed and killed in season two...he was the guy that had to identify the body. It's all in the credits.

But Tony was, indeed, whacked.

Combine this with the appearance of Steven van Zandt (Sil) on a morning radio show saying, "The answer is in the credits"... and you've got your finale.

Pretty bad ass is you ask us.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-05-25T10:30:00.000-04:00

Wake up in the morning,
clock says half past one
I have no sunglasses
As I step into the sun
There's no recollection
of the evil things I've done
My head feels like I must've had some fun

Ok so it's been a slow week here. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. BUT, hopefully you still love us... even a little bit? You do know today is Girl on Girl Friday, right? Ahh, there we go. Much better!

Have an excellent holiday weekend everyone, thanks for stopping by and Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

Today's Funniest Headline

2007-05-11T01:41:00.000-04:00

Man with panties on face attempts to rob W.VA store
(actual headline on local newspaper's website)

INWOOD, W.Va. (AP) — A thief covered his face with a pair of blue women’s underwear and used a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter in a botched robbery of a convenience store, police said.

“I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried,” State Police Sgt. T.C. Kearns told The Journal in Martinsburg.

The cashier at first thought it was a joke and refused to give the man any money, so he ran to a Jeep Cherokee and drove away at about 4 a.m. Wednesday, Kearns said.

A few minutes later, police stopped a vehicle matching that description and took two men into custody.

Police later charged Steven Clay Stephenson, 34, of Ranson in the convenience story robbery.

Kearns said police found a pistol-shaped lighter while searching Stephenson. The underwear was recovered nearby.

Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

He was being held Thursday at the Eastern Regional Jail. The Berkeley County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office had no record of a defense attorney being assigned yet to represent Stephenson.

The funniest part of the story?
Not the panties on the head part.

But look at what he was charged with -
Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

Nighttime burglary? Does that carry a heavier punishment than daytime burglary?

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-05-11T00:12:00.000-04:00

If I could bottle my hopes in a store bought scent
They'd be nutmeg peach and they'd pay the rent
And I'd ride a horse, and I'd teach a course
on how I got to be a star crossed pimp

Well holy crap.

We go away for a bit, come back, and it looks like you might've missed us jussst a bit. Ok, more than just a bit.

We had more hits this past week than we've ever had. Ever. Tens & tens of thousands of hits this week and damn it feels good! We know the love is there. We feel it in the emails we get everyday. Whether it's criticism or the always welcomed, "Hey! Love you guys. Love the site. Keep doin what you're doin" ; we love it all. And yes, we've heard your cries for a comments option... stay tuned.

Hey we almost forgot. Happy Girl on Girl Friday hookers and hookettes!! Have yourself one excellent weekend and thanks again for all the love & support. Make sure to let your friends know about Cooterpunch!

Cooterpunch catch of the day

2007-05-10T15:14:00.000-04:00

While we're not from Chicago, we never miss an opportunity to catch the Cubs anytime they're on TV during the day. And today was no exception.

Check out this nice grab in dead center field by a little Cubs fan. We enjoyed it so much, that we wanted to get it on video and share it with you.

It's moments like these when you're a kid that help make certain ball players your favorite. Just as I'm sure Aramis Ramirez is now this kid's favorite baseball player. Nice catch kid.

Sacha Baron Cohen to play Queen frontman Freddie Mercury?

2007-05-10T11:40:00.000-04:00

Sacha Baron Cohen is set to play Freddie Mercury in a movie about the Queen singer's life, it has been reported.

The comic - who reportedly based his character Borat's look on the late music legend - is said to be the front runner to play Freddie seeing off stiff competition from Johnny Depp.

A source told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "Filmmakers are working flat out to get the best possible script. Sacha loves the idea he can get away with playing Freddie after modeling Borat's look on him."

The movie is being developed by Robert De Niro's company Tribeca Productions.

Last month, it was reported that 'Pirates of the Caribbean' star Johnny was in talks to play Freddie.

'Bohemian Rhapsody' singer Freddie - who passed away aged 45 from an AIDS-related illness in 1991 - was widely considered to be one of the greatest performers in British rock history.

Sacha, 35 - who is best known for his comic alter-egos Ali G and Borat - is currently working on Tim Burton's forthcoming movie 'Sweeney Todd'.

The BAFTA winner is engaged to Australian actress Isla Fisher, 31.

And let us just point out, if Freddie Mercury were alive today, he would easily be the most bad ass gay dude on the planet... knocking George Michael down to #2

source

Mom wants to eat placenta. Hospital says no. Mom sues.

2007-05-10T11:29:00.000-04:00

A Las Vegas mother is battling a local hospital over the ownership of a placenta. Anne Swanson gave birth at Sunrise Hospital last month, and wants her placenta so she can ingest it for its nutrients. But Swanson says the hospital has told her the organ was contaminated, and she would have to go to court to get it back.

Yesterday, Swanson and a group of other women protested outside the Maryland Parkway hospital, with signs reading "Free the Placenta." A spokeswoman for Sunrise Hospital would not discuss the case, but says placentas are kept in cold storage for three days and are disposed if there is no request to keep it. Swanson says she'll contact the ACLU and Planned Parenthood to get the placenta back. But because it is contaminated, she has no plans to turn it into pills for consumption. Traditional Chinese medicine suggests that the excess hormones in placentas can treat postpartum depression.

Hell, if she wants to eat the placenta, let her eat the damn placenta. But handle it like they do at some of those buffalo wing joints where they serve "911" wings and make the bitch sign a waiver.

source

WTF Happened to Christina Ricci's face?

2007-05-09T15:42:00.000-04:00

W T F ?!?

We've always believed Christina Ricci to be a complete butter face. She's way hot. But her face... 'eh.

But with this shot taken Monday night out front of The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York for some big fashion gala, she went from ButterFace to G.I.L.F. in record time.

When did she turn 61 years old? YIKES.

Paris Hilton fires her lawyer, gets a new one

2007-05-09T15:36:00.000-04:00

Here's a shot of Paris Hilton after firing her lawyer, Howard Weitzman, in person today. She then hired DUI defense lawyer Richard Hutton.

Too little, too late dummy!

source: ImNotObsessed.com

George Lucas takes a dump on Spiderman 3

2007-05-09T13:55:00.000-04:00

At last night's Time magazine dinner for the 100 most influential people, Star Wars creator George Lucas talked to Fox News about some of the projects he is working on.

But most interesting was when he began talking about this summer's movies.

From FoxNews.com:

Lucas told me he has seen all the summer movies since his company, Industrial Light and Magic, does most of the special effects. The only one they didn't work on was "Spider-Man 3." What did he think of it?

"It's silly. It's a silly movie," he said. "There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?"

Well, it's not "Star Wars."

"People thought 'Star Wars' was silly, too," he added, with a wink. "But it wasn't."

Spiday hater!

Whatever Georgie. Just get on your next project - Chewbacca vs. Spidey - Wookie vs. Arachnid

Tell me that shit doesn't scream BLOCKBUSTER!

Gossip Rag covers rule

2007-05-09T13:52:00.000-04:00

No words needed here. Just enjoy.

Britney Spears > My Mom

2007-05-09T11:16:00.000-04:00

Wow. When I was 2 years old, my mom never carried me around town looking this cool. But if she did, I probably would've become a better person because of it.

Those other toddlers must be jealous. I think all self-respecting mothers should stroll their kids around looking like a 2 dollar hooker. The world would be a much better place if we all followed Britney's lead. Bitch has really got it all together.

Rosie O'Donnell to replace Bob Barker on The Price is Right?

2007-05-08T18:30:00.000-04:00

We're praying to all of the Gods, in hopes this is just a stupid rumor and never.... EVER comes true. But it's still interesting.

Now that the Goodyear blimp is leaving 'The View', she might be setting her sights on another TV show.

According to reports, Rosie wants to take over Bob Barkers spot on "The Price Is Right." Word is that "Price" producers aren't too happy about the current host contenders George Hamilton, Mark Steines, Todd Newton and Mario Lopez. Even the retiring host Bob Barker is adamant that Rosie gets the gig according to one source.

A new job isn't the only thing Rosie's after, HollyScoop says that Rosie may jump on the Jenny Craig bandwagon to shed some weight.

Smart businesswoman? Yes.
Should be on TV? No.

source: HollyScoop

Austin Powers returning

2007-05-08T18:22:00.000-04:00

Mike Myers, creator of the Austin Powers film franchise, told SCI-FI Wire that he definitely wants to make another movie and will get to it after he finishes his next project, called The Love Guru. And it might focus on Austin's nemesis, Doctor Evil.

"I have figured out that the story will be taken from the point of Doctor Evil," Myers said in an interview while promoting Shrek the Third. "It will be powered from Doctor Evil's point of view." Myers added: "That will be the first of a trilogy. ... I'm just joking! ... I haven't figured it all out. Who knows?"

But don't get too excited. Myers says it takes him almost 4 years to do a movie. And since he's currently in the middle of a project, we're not going to expect a new Austin Powers before 2010. Though as long as Beyonce Knowles isn't in this one, we're ok with waiting.

source: SciFi.com

Brad Pitt to play He-Man?

2007-05-08T10:48:00.000-04:00

Rumor has it that Brad Pitt is about to become He-Man!

A quote from one of the upcoming film's producers:

“They are very keen on Brad for the role. He will have to bulk up though - he is very fit but not to ‘He-Man’ proportions.” He-Man - the most powerful man in the universe - is a sword-wielding hero with superhuman powers.

'eh, it might work. I'm just hoping the movie doesn't suck. Let's also hope that Marc Anthony is chosen to play the role of Skeletor!

source: ImNotObsessed

WTF Happened to Jessica Simpson's Face?

2007-05-08T10:39:00.000-04:00

Since our last "WTF happened to Jessica Simpson's face?" moment last year, things have been steadily going downhill for the one time hottie.

In this picture taken over the weekend, Jessica Simpson looks more like Carmen Electra... if Carmen Electra had a penis and was injecting herself with steroids.

Is Britney growing a super-sized boob?

2007-05-08T10:27:00.000-04:00

What's up with the right side of Britney Spears chest area in this pic? And why the F is she walking around like that? Check out the dude in the upper right part of the picture... thinking to himself, "Yeah, I'd still hit that."

Sony and the PS3... still reaching

2007-05-07T21:15:00.000-04:00

Sony recently launched their new "Home" service for the hurting Playstation 3. They have taken a hard beating for their $600 DVD player and are trying to throw sh*t at the wall, in hopes it will stick.

Technically, it's still a beta and from what we gather, Playstation Home is sort of virtual world with a make believe "you", walking around talking to other fakies.

In the words of a PS3 owner - "I dont see the appeal.. talk to people through a virtual world and pretend to be something you are not... yay. Go outside and meet people"

It's a bit of Sims + Leisure Suit Larry + World of Warcraft.

What's the objective here? How do you beat the game? What is the appeal? And if you actually have a life, will the PS3's Home appeal to you?

For us, sitting on the couch with a controller and a keyboard chatting with other losers doesn't seem like a system seller. But maybe we're missing something.

Hey Sony, where are the games? All of the hot games are on the Xbox 360. And even the good games that have been out for a while on the 360 and supposed to be out soon for the PS3, aren't coming out in the near future for Sony's big, black empty box. They can't even get the 360's leftovers! We feel for those dummies who bought a Playstation 3 as their only next-generation gaming console. They are truly missing out.

We heart Ryan Freel

2007-05-07T19:54:00.000-04:00

If you don't like baseball, f*ck you and don't read any further.
We kid, we kid!!! (seriously, please come back tomorrow)

But Ryan Freel of the Cincinnati Reds is one of our favorite baseball players. The guy plays balls out, day in and day out.

Example, tonight against division rival Houston Astros - Ryan Feel, playing third base, chases a foul ball about 4 rows deep and lands on a few fans' heads.

Sure he doesn't come up with the catch, but not many professional baseball players would even give that ball a 2nd look. Props to the crazy S.O.B for risking his neck to try and make the play.

Sorry for the crooked angle... we've been drinking.

Happy Nip Slip Monday

2007-05-07T16:56:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the fine folks at Egotastic.com for this excellent picture of Natalie Portman and her side boobage, taken recently.

Then this always THIS picture of Natalie nakie in a new movie...

* click to enlarge *

Paris Hilton - Heading to jail the only way she knows how

2007-05-07T16:52:00.000-04:00

As you probably know by now, Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in a county jail for violating her DUI probation.

And in Paris Hilton fashion, just days before freedom is taken away - here she is walking down the street while flashing everyone... and giving a few thousand bulldykes a taste of what's coming their way.

Pics of Lindsay Lohan snorting coke

2007-05-07T16:44:00.000-04:00

In today's not-so-shocking news - Lindsay Lohan is a coke whore! Sure we've said it in the past, but here's proof!

News of the World not only posted these pics from a video of Lohan snorting some blow in the bathroom, but also talks about how she's flying to NY to fuck Jude Law, among other fun things:

LINDSAY Lohan, fresh from rehab, has been pictured taking part in a marathon cocaine binge.

Sordid snaps of her snorting the drug and shoving it up a pal's nose was taken as she and two friends crammed into a club toilet during a wild night on the town.

Then the Mean Girls star bragged to the others: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to fuck Jude Law."

Now a friend of the 21-year-old actress says she is spiralling out of control since rehab and revealed that Lohan:

SNORTED 20 lines of cocaine in ONE night alone

STRIPPED down to a thong before inhaling the drug off a coffee table

BRAGGED of wild sex sessions with a host of celebrities including singer James Blunt and model Calum Best.

The friend added: "Lindsay does not care who sees her do coke and where she does it." And she has not managed to stay off the booze either.

"She carries round a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda.

"I remember looking at her and thinking how pathetic she looked and how out of control she had become. When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her.

"I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out.

"One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat."

More pics below.

Matthew McConaughey is Still Crazy

2007-05-07T16:28:00.000-04:00

Flynetonline.com posted these recent pictures of Matthew McConaughey, doing what he does best - working out with a gay headband and looking like he's from another planet.

We've posted Matthew McConaughey news in the past, mainly because the dude is just so freakin out there and insane.

It's good to see things haven't changed with the one time "World's Sexiest Man Alive"

"Sure, I'll let you put this many fingers up my ass"

Newsweek has a sense of humor

2007-05-07T16:23:00.000-04:00

MSNBC.com today posted a story from the latest Newsweek mag talking about cheerleading and how its popularity is bigger than ever. Screw the story though. The only part worth noting is the picture used at the top of the story (above).

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-05-04T09:45:00.000-04:00

I'm always workin' slavin' every day
Gotta get a break from the same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say

Ooh snap, lookie here. It, it... it looks like a Cooterpunch.com Girl on Girl Friday!

Damn straight hookers and hookettes. Happy Girl on Girl Friday from all of us to all of you. And while you likely thought we off'd ourselves months ago, we're still kickin it and we just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who sent emails, asking what's up with the 'Punch and how much they miss us. So for you, we at least wanted to give you the Friday that you were used to looking forward to each week. Enjoy kids and have an excellent weekend.

Mic check

2007-01-25T21:52:00.000-05:00

1, 2.... test.... this thing on?

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2006-12-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again...

Yeah, so it's been a slow week here at Cooterpunch. But don't take that the wrong way. We still love you.

And to show our love and appreciation, we're hitting you with the best damn Friday celebration money can buy. Money? Ha! This shit's free. Happy Girl on Girl Friday!! And thank you all for the love and support you've shown Cooterpunch and keep the feedback coming. Have an excellent Friday and an even better weekend!

WTF Happened to Beyonce's Face?

2006-12-07T20:07:00.000-05:00

Bitch better get a refund on that shitty face lift.
Thanks to loyal Cooterpuncher Kiana for the tip.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2006-11-30T23:23:00.000-05:00

Don't know what color your eyes are baby
But your hair is long and brown
Your legs are strong, and you're so, so long
And you don't come from this town
My head is full of magic, baby
And I can share this with you
The feel I'm on top again, baby
That's got everything to do with you who hewww I'm ALIVE

Yeah yeah what's up hookers and hookettes!! We're here today for one reason and one reason only. To give you what you need. To give you what you've been waiting for all week. To present to you the reason why Friday is the absolute, greatest freakin day of the week. Happy Girl on Girl Friday!!

Today's Girl on Girl Friday is brought to you by our friends at Gelaskins.com , for those of you looking to give your iPod a bad ass twist of style and originality.

We'd also like to thank YOU for helping put Cooterpunch.com on the map. We're back up in this bitch and word has definitely been spreading like Britney Spears' beaten up roast beef sandwich on Paris Hilton's hot leather seats. Keep the feedback coming and thank you mucho for stopping by. Here's to a kick ass Friday and one excellent freakin' weekend. Hugs and kisses bitches.

WTF Happened to Meg Ryan's Face?

2006-11-29T15:38:00.000-05:00

Our friends at Popbytes posted this latest shot of Meg Ryan from Star magazine and all we've got to say is WTF?!?

Britney Spears Cooter ... All The Cool Kids Are Doing It

2006-11-29T13:27:00.000-05:00

We might as well join in on the fun that is Britney Spears and pics of her flappy lips, C-section scar, beaten up cooter / pussy.

I made 'em nice and small on the main page here so only click if you are not at work, around kids or near your girlfriend/wife.

Warning, the enlarged versions are a bit scary.

This Dogg Loves Him Some Jail

2006-11-29T11:23:00.000-05:00

Snoop Dogg has been arrested for the third time in three months after police found weapons and narcotics in his vehicle during a roadside stop.

The 35-year-old was detained by police near Los Angeles yesterday after leaving the NBC studio where he'd taped a performance on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

Police spokesman Sergeant Kevin Grandalski said a search found marijuana, cocaine, a firearm and a false compartment in his car. The hip-hop star, real name Calvin Broadus, was booked, and bail was set at $60,000.

Last month the rapper was arrested on suspicion of illegal drug and gun possession at the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, California. In September Californian authorities discovered a collapsible baton in his bags as he boarded a New York-bound flight from John Wayne International Airport. He surrendered to police earlier this month to face charges of possessing a deadly weapon. In May, the rapper was cautioned by British police following his April arrest for affray at London's Heathrow airport.

Rich people confuse me.

If you're going to do coke, smoke weed and carry guns - do you have to carry all that shit around with you in public? You don't think cops follow ol' Snoop around, just waiting for him to slip up? Hey Snoop, real hardcore rappers have stash boxes in their cars. Time to look into that idea, you big dummy.

Oh and in case you were wondering - Yes, that is Snoop on stage with American Idol winner Taylor Hicks.

So gangsta.

source

Wednesday's WTF Picture Moment - Christmas Edition

2006-11-29T11:09:00.000-05:00

Nintendo Wii Brings out the Cursing in all of Us

2006-11-28T15:47:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since we've shown our dorky side and talked videogames. But this past month was big for videogames.

Nintendo launched their next generation console called the Wii.

And Sony launched their next generation console called the Playstation 3.

We won't get into all of the details, the comparisons, etc. Just know this - the Nintendo Wii looks to be a whole buttload of fun with it's motion sensor controllers and gameplay.

In this video (thanks to our buddies at MaddenMania.com), you'll see daddy videotaping his young daughter while she swings the Wii stick, or in this case, the Wii golf club.

It's a damn cute video, up until the last few seconds where frustration turns into hilarity. Enjoy!

Borat Breaks up Pam and Kid Rock?

2006-11-28T14:58:00.000-05:00

Following up on our Pam Anderson / Kid Rock divorce news - it looks like Kazakhstan's 4th most popular celebrity might have been the reason behind the recent split.

Quoting this news story -

The couple reportedly entered into a blazing row (British for argument) after watching BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN at a private screening together.

Onlookers claim Rock, real name BOB RICHIE, became enraged by his former BAYWATCH star wife's role in the spoof film - in which Borat, played by SACHA BARON COHEN, travels across America to get close to the blonde beauty. A close friend of the pair tells PageSix.com, "(Film producer) RON MEYER held a screening of Borat at his house for a bunch of people, including Pam and Bob. It was the first time Bob had seen the movie, and, well, he didn't like it. "Bob started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' - in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing.

"Pam thought he could have a sense of humor about the movie. She was in on the gag from the very beginning and loved doing the movie. And on the eve of what was supposed to be a very positive thing, he made it an awful night. Ever since that night, it has been icicles between them." Anderson filed for divorce yesterday (27NOV06) after less than four months of marriage.

Whoa wah wee wuh! Lighten up BOB! Let's hope he's less dramatic during next week's private screening of the Pam and Tommy Lee tape.

Gasoline, Cement... How Cocaine is Made

2006-11-28T01:38:00.001-05:00

Mmm!!

Cityrag posted this tasty video of cocaine being made.

Just makes ya wanna go snort a fat line, doesn't it?

.

Why Didn't I Think of That?!

2006-11-28T00:37:00.000-05:00

Our old buddy over at SpaceCaptain.org posted this and we had to share.

It's a vaccuum cleaner that you (well, not you, your kids) can ride! Freakin genius! Where do I get one? You know, for my nephew and stuff...

Our Girl of the Day - Hilary Duff

2006-11-27T23:52:00.000-05:00

Not only did the cutie dump that pussy Joel Madden, she also got her enormous fake teeth fixed!

She looks so much better now.

Of course not as good as "slightly chubby Hilary" from a few years back, but we'll take it.

So here's to you, newly single, fixed grill girl of the day.

Thanks CelebBitchy for the pic

Jessica Simpson Sex Tape

2006-11-27T18:23:00.000-05:00

You read that shit right.

Jessica.
Simpson.
Sex.
Tape.

Fuck a Britney and K-Fed tape. This right here has us doing backflips.

According to FemaleFirst, the tape was made while Jessica was married to ex-husband Nick Lachey.

The alleged X-rated home movie is said to show the 'Dukes of Hazzard' actress and her ex-husband Nick Lachey engaged in a number of sex acts.

A source told Britain's Daily Sport newspaper: "Jessica is horrified her name and sex tape are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."

According to reports the tape does exist and has fallen into the hands of the individuals responsible for leaking the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex video.

It has been claimed that they are threatening to leak the tape if Jessica does not pay an undisclosed sum of money to keep it out of the public domain.

Good God.

If this is true, I seriously might explode into flames.

Pam Anderson Files for Divorce

2006-11-27T14:25:00.000-05:00

Didn't see this one coming!

In today's Not-So-Surprising News - TMZ is reporting that after just 4 months of marriage (and like 12 different ceremonies), Pam Anderson is filing for a divorce from husband Kid Rock.

She's claiming he beat the crap out of her.

Really?

Is that what happens when you drink all day and are completely bored with life?

It's a shame there were no warning signs for Pam to see or anything...

Stars Without Makeup

2006-11-27T14:06:00.000-05:00

We love when celebs look like shit. It makes us feel normal and better about ourselves.

So thanks to Star magazine for helping boost our egos and helping make us all feel a little better about ourselves by posting these trifling pictures in your latest rag. (and thx to PopBytes for posting)

*click to enlarge*

No Lindsay or Paris News Here, Ever!

2006-11-27T13:38:00.000-05:00

Not that we were ever big on reporting Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan news in the first place, but now it's just fucking stupid.

If you check out PerezHilton.com, you'll see a damn soap opera brewing between Lohan, Paris and Paris' new fuck-buddy, Britney Spears.

Something about throwing drinks on each other, calling one of them a cunt and all sorts of high school drama. Sounds pretty intense, right? This was all just in the past few days.

Fast forward to today, the same site has a picture of all 3 whores, sitting in a car together, taken just last night.

If I was a flaming celeb gossip reporter who took myself somewhat seriously, I would feel like a complete tool for getting giggly like a schoolgirl and dedicating all of my time to this "feud" only to see them hanging out together the next day. How legit does that make you?

And this is why we will not be updating you on the latest Lohan/Paris drama. We'd rather give you more important stories. News that matters, like... ummmmmm......
yeah we have no idea.

WTF Happened to Carrot Top's Face?

2006-11-26T15:48:00.000-05:00

CityRag posted a sickening collage of recent Carrot Top pictures which simply cannot be ignored.

This guy is the new Michael Jackson.

What the fuck did he do to his face?! Years of steroid abuse? Botched cosmetic surgeries? AIDS?

Lindsay Lohan's Days Are Numbered

2006-11-26T15:29:00.000-05:00

In this week's "Not Surprising At All" news - the National Enquirer is reporting that an out-of-control Lindsay Lohan overdosed on a deadly cocktail of cocaine and painkillers on Nov. 12. A doctor raced to Hollywood's Chateau Marmont after a friend of the 20-year-old actress found her unconscious in a drug-filled hotel room.

Although the doctor was able to revive the hard-partying star, he was horrified to discover a "stash of cocaine and a pile of prescription drugs" in the room, an insider told The ENQUIRER exclusively. The doctor flushed the cocaine down the toilet and bagged up seven different prescription drugs, according to the insider.

"The doctor insisted, 'This girl had a serious drug overdose. She has to go into a hospital and then into rehab.'" Lindsay refused to be treated at a hospital or enter rehab.

Ok, so it's the National Enquirer, but this might be the most believable story ever printed by the rag.

Ooh Lindsay. So sad. Except not at all.

Salma Hayek is About to Float Away

2006-11-26T15:22:00.000-05:00

These things just seem to get bigger and bigger with each and every picture we see of her... and that's a damn good thing. We'd love to rest our head on these big, fluffy funbags for about 12 straight days.

Thanks Egotastic.com for the pic!

Britney's Sexy Parts

2006-11-26T15:03:00.000-05:00

I may be incorrect here, but I believe this is a first!
Even if its not, it needs to be posted, shared, admired and loved!! Thank you Britney and thank you Mr. Photographer.

Peek-a-boo!

2006-11-26T14:58:00.000-05:00

Teste... teste... 1, 2 3.... comments? On? Broken? Hmmmmmmmmm...

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2006-11-17T06:39:00.000-05:00

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that's all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls, girls!

It's been too long folks and for that - we apologize.

Real life has taken its toll on the ol' Cooterpunch as you've probably noticed by the lack of updates. But due to the overwhelming amount of emails in the past week, we at least feel obligated to provide you with the one thing you've been craving. The one and only thing you look forward to each and every Friday. GIRL ON freakin' GIRL FRIDAY!

Sorry for the time off folks, we truly are. But we here at Cooterpunch hope you have one hell of a Friday and an even better weekend. Thanks for stopping by and we hope to come back to you soon.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2006-11-03T08:37:00.000-05:00

It's Friday and it's my day
Just to party
all the way to Sunday
Maybe til Monday, I dunno what day
Everyday's just a holidaaay...

Yes! Yes! YES! Friday is here hookers and hookettes. And it is our duty and our privilege to ring in the weekend the only way we know how.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday from all of us to all of you.

And a big "Thank You" for being a part of the Cooterpunch fam and for your continued support. Keep those emails/feedback coming and have yourself one hell of a weekend.

Kanye West is an Asshole

2006-11-02T22:04:00.000-05:00

MTV's VMA Awards (EMAs) took place tonight and it's official - Kanye West is a big giant douchebag... and Justin Timberlake actually gained some credibility.

According to MTV.uk :

Kanye West unleashed an amazing outburst after failing to take home the award for 'Best Video' for his 'Touch The Sky' at the EMAs.

Crashing the stage as winners Justice and Simian collected their silverwear for 'We Are Your Friends', the hip hop star spat, "F*ck dis! My video cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and sh*t! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (J&S), but hell man."

His verbal tirade left audience members gasping but it didn't end there.

After the show the offended star continued to vent in the press conference.

He told the world's media he was upset because he had "the best video."

"I haven't seen (the Justice and Simian video). Possibly it could have been quite good but no way better than 'Touch The Sky'.

"That is complete bullsh*t, I paid a million. Obviously it's not all about the money, but the response it got transcended everything, it really made great TV.

"It took a month to film; I stood on a mountain; I flew a heliocopter over Vegas. I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award. Please press people print 'Kanye says f*ck that!"

After Kanye's temper tantrum on stage, host Justin Timberlake told the crowd, "After the show, Kanye will be in the parking lot accepting awards he did not win. Seriously though, I've got sexy covered, it's good to see someone's doing crazy."

Zinnnnnnnnng!!

Fuck Kanye West. His first CD was dope, his 2nd CD wasn't and now he's cooked. Good riddance crybaby bitch.

Matthew McConaughey's Secret Revealed

2006-11-01T23:13:00.000-05:00

Curious as to how Matthew McConaughey is rockin' the bulge? I think the answer has been found -

An Australian company claims to have produced the men's equivalent of the "Wonderbra" -- a range of "Wondercup" underwear designed to enhance the apparent size of the contents.

"It basically lifts, separates and extends," aussieBum founder Sean Ashby was quoted as saying by the national AAP news agency.

"This design uses all of the natural assets of the person, whether they be big, small or indifferent."

The underwear features a "wondercup," a pouch used to "separate and stop squashing."

Ashby said the design, launched last week, had attracted a lot of interest in the United States and Europe.

The marketing campaign features the slogan: "The new 'wondercup' technology in these attention-grabbing, all-cotton Patriot briefs will have you seriously looking bigger and feeling amazing."

The brand is sold in some of the biggest department stores in the world and is distributed to more than 70 countries via Internet sales.

Death to any self-respecting man who purchases this wondercup. Unless it truly gets you laid.

source

Borat on Letterman video

2006-11-01T22:44:00.000-05:00

In the past week, Borat has introduced himself to mainstream American media and put his movie promotional tour into 6th gear.

His biggest appearance yet was on the Late Night with David Letterman Show earlier this week. Pretty funny stuff. Enjoy!

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

K-Fed Booed Off Stage

2006-11-01T21:51:00.000-05:00

DListed.com reports that Kevin Federline was booed off a West Hollywood stage after only performing one song.

KFed tried to turn it out at The West Hollywood Halloween Carnival, but failed to impress. Even before the music started for his first song and current single Privilege, the boos hit. Half of the crowd filled the night air with their moans of displeasure forcing KFed to vacate the stage after only one song.

At what point will this half-a-retard realize he's in the wrong business and finally give it up? And WTF kind of costume is that? A cape? Hooray for creativity.

Kelly Clarkson Likes to Eat

2006-11-01T21:30:00.000-05:00

... a lot

These pics are from last week's CMT tribute to Reba McEntire.

Instead of paying tribute to Reba, Kelly should've stayed home and paid tribute to her treadmill. And no, we're not encouraging girls to starve themselves, but Kelly looks even bigger now than she was in her American Idol days. But whatever, she'd still get it.

Thanks IDLYITW for the pics.

Lindsay Lohan Admits to Being a Whore

2006-11-01T21:17:00.000-05:00

"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person. It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet. My mom's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people!"

- Lindsay Lohan reveals in a new interview with the News of the World

That would explain a certain recent rash...
and I thought we had something real. Bitch

When Did Pam Anderson Turn Into...

2006-11-01T21:05:00.000-05:00

Pam Anderson showing off her new Linda Hogan look. Can't tell which one is Pam and which is Linda? We can't either!

Both are now fug, tranny freaks. Congrats!

Cooterpunch Crew Kidnapped?

2006-10-31T12:16:00.000-05:00

I'm not quite sure what happened to the boys, but I haven't heard from them since early Friday morning, mumbling something about having inside information on Nicole Richie's rehab stint and how one of them was recently tagged with a rash 'down there' after Lindsay Lohan demanded him to put it in her bad place... since then, they've disappeared. We'll keep you updated on their whereabouts and hopefully they'll turn up somewhere soon and get us our news back!

- Vick

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2006-10-26T14:41:00.000-04:00

You know I never,
I never seen you look so good.
You never act the way you should.
But I like it.
And I knooow yooou liiike it too,
The way that I want you...
I gotta have you
Oh yes, I do!

Holy hot hell, it's Friday! And we here at Cooterpunch would like to offer you and yours a hap... happ.... HAPPY GIRL ON GIRL FRIDAY!

We'd also like to thank each and every one of you for your love and support. This site has truly taken off in a big way and that's all because of you. So please, keep the feedback coming, we love to hear what you have to say; and continue to drop by and see what's up at Cooterpunch. Thanks again and have yourself one kick ass weekend!

Beyonce Falls on Her Head?

2006-10-26T09:17:00.000-04:00

** Update: If you are looking for video of the Beyonce tumble from July 24th, click here! **

Cooterpunch reminder - Don't forget about our weekly Girl-on-Girl Fridays!!

Part of the dance routine or a bad slip?
Either way, seeing Beyonce Knowles fall on her head is kinda funny.

Who's Hotter?

2006-10-25T22:55:00.000-04:00

Who would you rather do - Nicky Hilton or Marilyn Manson?

Tommy Lee Tongue Kisses a Dude

2006-10-25T15:16:00.000-04:00

Tommy Lee and his Rockstar Supernova lead singer Lukas Rossi make out together outside of Frankie J's album release party in Hollywood on Tuesday. By looking at Rossi's left hand, we're guessing this isn't the first time these two have been gay with each other.

Janet Jackson Begs Japan to Buy Her CD

2006-10-25T15:05:00.000-04:00

click to enlarge

Janet Jackson's latest CD is selling fairly poorly here in the U.S.

So Janet goes to Tokyo to promote the CD, dressed in a traditional Japanese kimono. Bitch will do anything to kiss some ass and sell some CD's! Next stop - Zimbabwe, Africa where she'll appear topless with barbells through her nipples!

Great, now I'm having Superbowl performance flashbacks.

Kurt Cobain is Freakin Rich

2006-10-25T14:15:00.000-04:00

HollywoodRag reports that former Nirvana lead singer Kurt Cobain has topped Elvis Presley as the richest dead celebrity.

Latest figures - compiled by Forbes.com - show Cobain has made $50 million in the past year despite having killed himself in April 1994.

By comparison, second placed Elvis - who has held the top spot since 2001 and has been dead for almost 30 years - made just $42 million dollars in the past twelve months.

Other big earners who have long since passed include 'Peanuts' cartoon creator Charles Schulz - whose Charlie Brown and Snoopy cartoons are still syndicated in newspapers across the world - whose estate earned $35 million, and 'Imagine' singer John Lennon who raked in $24 million.

The 'Baby Einstein' brand of pre-school toys and DVD's helped late genius Albert Einstein earn $20 million last year, while cultural icons Andy Warhol and Marilyn Monroe also made the list.

Does this creep anyone else out? No? Ok, I'm just a big pussy.

Top Earning Dead Celebrities

1. Kurt Cobain - Musician
2. Elvis Presley - Singer
3. Charles M. Schulz - Peanuts creator
4. John Lennon - Musician
5. Albert Einstein - Physicist
6. Andy Warhol - Clutural Icon
7. Dr. Seuss creator Theodor Geisel
8. Ray Charles - Musician
9. Marilyn Monroe - Actress
10. Johnny Cash - Musician
11. J.R.R. Tolkien - Author
12. George Harrison - Musician
13. Bob Marley - Musician

Jessica Simpson's Dad Takes Sexy Pictures

2006-10-25T13:37:00.000-04:00

Not that there's anything wrong with being a hot 26 year old girl, lying on a bed in an inviting position while daddy holds the camera and tells you to "show a bit more skin" and "look like you want it!"...

Thanks ImNotObsessed for the pic

How Our Boy Borat Hoaxed America

2006-10-25T13:19:00.000-04:00

We're now less than 2 weeks away from the nationwide release of the new Borat film! And the BBC has a great article on how our favorite Kazakhstan reporter fooled America. You should check it out!

We're Back !

2006-10-25T13:16:00.000-04:00

As you probably noticed (or didn't give 2 shits about), we took an extended weekend from the Cooterpunch. And for this we apologize. Hopefully you didn't do anything drastic because of the drought and were able to stay sane for those few days. But we're back hookers and hookettes, so make sure to stop by everyday and see what's up!

Rush Limbaugh Makes Fun of Parkinson's Disease

2006-10-25T13:03:00.000-04:00

If this doesn't win you the Fat Fucking Douchebag of the Year Award, than nothing will -

DListed today wrote - responding to Michael J.Fox’s recent commercial for Missouri Senate Challenger Claire McCaskill, radio host Rush Limbaugh said, “He is moving around and shaking, and it is purely an act. If this was not an act, then I apologize”

The 30-second spot feature Michael, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease, speaking for McCaskill who supports stem-cell research. He shakes throughout the spot, a condition that is associated with the disease. Michael’s spokeswhore is outraged and said, “It’s an appalling, sad statement. Anybody who understands Parkinson’s disease knows it’s because of the medicine that one experiences involuntary movements like those Fox shows in the commercial.”

I'm not even that much of an insensitive piece of shit. I really hope this pill-popping, self-obsessed, right wing nutjob cocksmoker gets run over by a bulldozer.

Update: Video of the commercial added

Fake Celebrity Mugshots

2006-10-20T10:06:00.000-04:00

Hillary Duff

CityRag just posted some pictures of a recent Worth1000.com Photoshop contest which has users taking celeb pictures and putting them into a mugshot. Much more fun than the real-deals on TheSmokingGun.com

Some of my personal faves (click to enlarge):

Kramer

Tom Cruise

Victoria Beckham

Mini-Me Vern Troyer

The rest available here

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2006-10-19T23:18:00.000-04:00

This one's for the Mets fans. Because Lord knows you got the shaft in last night's Game 7 loss. But no shaft here. All chicas, on chicas.

Thats right, it's Friday! And it's not just any Friday. It's Girl on Girl Friday!

And we'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your continued love and support. Another special thanks for all of the feedback we receive each day. The good, the bad, we love love it all. Keep it coming!

From those who've been with us since Day 1, to those who've just recently stumbled upon the 'Punch, we're happy to have you here and we hope you continue to drop by.

Have an excellent weekend!

NY Mets Endy Chavez NLCS Game 7 catch

2006-10-19T22:24:00.000-04:00

NY Mets outfielder Endy Chavez robs Scott Rolen of a 2-run HR which would have put the Cardinals up by 2 runs, in the bottom of the 6th inning.

.... buuuuut it was all for nothing as the Cards got the 2-run HR back in the 9th inning and move onto the World Series.

Music Industry Holds Stake in YouTube

2006-10-19T16:55:00.000-04:00

For those who thought Google was going to be sued left and right after buying YouTube for a gazillion dollars recently, the NY Times breaks the story today of how three of the four major entertainment cartels not only struck distribution deals with YouTube, they took a partial ownership stake, and stand to collectively benefit to the tune of $50 million.

Google isn't stupid and obviously had their asses covered before making the huge purchase. Those brilliant bastards.

Diddy Had Orgies in Champagne-Filled Bathtubs

2006-10-19T16:36:00.000-04:00

HollywoodRag has a story on Diddy's recent Vibe magaine interview in which he says -

"I'm nasty. In the mid-'90s I was buck-f*cking wild - beyond ménage à trois. It's crazy, you're twenty-something and renting the presidential suite at the Hotel Nikko in Beverly Hills. You got the bathtub filled with champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. Then sex became dangerous."

Puff's girlfriend Kim Porter is expecting twins and he now claims he's a one-woman man... although the NY Daily News said recently:

"Sean Combs told us Monday that he only has eyes for his pregnant girlfriend, Kim Porter. But the hip-hop mogul did seem distracted by one gorgeous brunette at Tuesday's Vibe magazine party for his new CD, "Press Play." A spy says, "They were talking forever, doing shots. He also held her hand and grabbed her waist."

Once a freak, always a freak Puff. Don't fight it.

Reason #342 Why Kids Are Fat

2006-10-18T19:31:00.000-04:00

From CNN -

Citing fear that students will get hurt and sue, an elementary school south of Boston has banned tag, touch football, and all other "chase games" from the playground. Students should also be advised to take caution when racing one another; should one student take the lead it might be observed that the other students are merely "chasing" first place. To alleviate confusion, all students should run in straight lines and finish each race in a virtual tie.

WTF is going on nowadays? God forbid kids get outside for 30 minutes a day and exercise, because they're damn sure not doing it at home with the internet, TV and videogames.

What's next? Banning reading in fear that kids will develop a headache and the parents will sue? No more writing, in fear of carpal tunell? So sad.

Trey Parker & Matt Stone Are Butt Funny

2006-10-18T13:23:00.000-04:00

click to enlarge

The 2 South Park creators took out this full-page ad in today's Variety, thanking their lawyer for 10 years of service.

Weed, coke, hundred dollar bills, a handgun and 2 butt funny futher muckers just saying thanks.

thx SorryIGotDrunk for the scan

Nicole Richie Sees Herself in 30 Years

2006-10-18T12:15:00.000-04:00

DListed posted this pic of Nicole Richie and her ~~crystal meth dealer~~ friend/stylist, Rachel Zoe.

Nicole Richie looks into the future and sees an image of herself in 30 years. Because Rachel Zoe is like 50, right? Poor fug bitches.

Paula Abdul Whores Herself on Ebay... Nobody Bids

2006-10-18T10:36:00.000-04:00

There was an auction on eBay to spend an entire day with Paula Abdul ... and NOBODY bid on it. Dagger!

The prize package included two first class tickets to Los Angeles, a $2,225 shopping spree and a backstage meeting with the American Idol judge. The proceeds were intended to go to multiple sclerosis charities, but the minimum asking price of $26,000 must have been too much. Fox pulled the auction off eBay after four days.

Although if you replace Paula Abdul with Jessica Alba, I'm taking out a 2nd freakin mortgage.

And yes, that is the worst picture of Paula Abdul available anywhere.

thx TVsquad.com

Paris Sleeps With Lindsay

2006-10-18T09:56:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have decided to kiss and make up. From the New York Post's Page Six:

Lindsay Lohan is playing with fire. She's now decided to be best buds with her former nemesis Paris Hilton, and the two even had a sleepover in Las Vegas this weekend. On Saturday night, the terrible twosome arrived arm-in-arm to Michelle Trachtenberg's 21st birthday party at Tao and spent the night signing autographs for fans and whispering to each other. Then the ditzy duo retired to the $25,000-a- night Sky Villa at the Palms - for a naked pillow fight.

Ok so we added the word naked at the end there. But the pillow fight part was all NY Post.

** Waiting for the GooTube video of said footage **

In Case You Still Give a Shit About The OC

2006-10-18T09:51:00.000-04:00

Here is a shot from a filming for The OC season 4 episode.

Adam Brody (Seth Cohen) + Steve-O (who is playing a US Marine, WTF?) + tequila = probably a tad amusing... especially once Seth Cohen is doing shots out of Steve-O's ass.

thx JustJared.com for the pic

Denise Richards' Kids Have Fleas

2006-10-18T09:44:00.000-04:00

Denise Richards says she regularly sleeps with her five dogs - two Boston terriers named Lucy and Stella, Hank the French bulldog, Henry the pug and Tina the golden retriever. “I dress them up all the time [and] they sleep with me often,” Richards tells Animal Fair magazine. “The other night, I had both the kids and all the dogs in my bed. I didn’t sleep very well that night. I woke up with a kink in my neck.”

Sounds like a fucking zoo to me. Those poor kids. No wonder Charlie Sheen was out banging randoms. Who wants to sleep in a bed with 2 kids, 5 dogs and a crazy bitch?

Thanks CelebWarship.com for the story

Funniest Borat Interview to Date

2006-10-17T18:28:00.000-04:00

We're not going completely YouTube/Google Video crazy, trust us. But this recent Borat appearance on Jon Stewart's Daily Show is too good not to post. Enjoy!

K-Fed Gets Dissed Then Dropped - Part 3

2006-10-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

... and the icing on the cake.

K-Fed Gets Dissed Then Dropped - Part 2

2006-10-16T23:47:00.000-04:00

"... less talent than Paris Hilton"
"... you're with a dude who likes semen"
"... if K-Fed wasn't here, I'd be Spearing Britney"

This shit is freakin brilliant.

Click here for Part 3 and watch K-Fed get his sleaze-ass dropped.

K-Fed Gets Dissed Then Dropped - Part 1

2006-10-16T23:08:00.000-04:00

Part 1 of 3.

Kevin Federline makes a guest appearance on WWE Monday Night Raw in L.A.

The funniest part about this 1st video is that Kevin Federline is introduced as "an A-lister".

Click here for Part 2 !

Click here for Part 2 !

Lindsay Shows Off Her Balls

2006-10-16T14:04:00.000-04:00

Lindsay Lohan either has some big 'ol downstairs lips or she's got a set of nuts.

You be the judge.

Click to enlarge

Thanks Egotastic.com for the pic.

Borat Speaks in Amsterdam

2006-10-13T15:16:00.000-04:00

The worldwide publicity tour continues for funny mofo Sacha Baron Cohen and his upcoming film Borat, as he spoke (in character of course) at the Cine Expo yesterday. Enjoy. I LIKE!

I Wish He Was MY Governor!

2006-10-13T13:24:00.000-04:00

click to enlarge

"Smile for dee kahmera and I'll poot my fingah right in dehr"

thx RadarOnline

You Should Find a New Career When...

2006-10-13T12:20:00.000-04:00

As if shit can't get any worse for former D-Lister Tara Reid, her latest movie is heading straight to.... not DVD.... but straight to the internet. Dagger!

The film, titled Incubus, will be released by AOL Red beginning October 31st.

INCUBUS, the story of six teenagers who break into what they think is an abandoned factory to seek shelter. they quickly find themselves trapped and realize too late that they are not alone. suspended in a triple locked shatter proof clear cube attached to an observation room is a coma patient obviously being tested and experimented on. the bizarre sleeper and his horrific powers hold the key to their escape and ultimately their survival.

watch the incubus trailer (.mov 6.3mb)

Thx PopBytes for the story

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2006-10-13T10:26:00.000-04:00

I swear I won't tease you
Won't tell you no lies
I don't need no Bible
Just look in my eyes
I've waited so long baby
Out in the cold
I can't take much more girl
I'm losing control

Holy shit, it's Friday! And Cooterpunch is here to celebrate the only way we know how - Girl on Girl Friday. Have a great weekend folks and thank you all oh so much for the love and support. Keep the feedback coming, spread the word and Happy Girl on Girl Friday bitches and bitchettes!

Elton John Takes it up the Ass

2006-10-11T22:39:00.000-04:00

Sir Elton John makes his mark at Walt Disney Studios in Burbank, Calif., on Monday, where the singer was honored as a "Disney Legend" by getting bent over and banged by a statue of Walt Disney. The singer has a long history with the Mouse's house, writing music for The Lion King and Aida.

Check out Mickey Mouse encouraging his daddy.

Thanks for the pic People

Jamie Foxx's Spray-On Wig

2006-10-10T16:21:00.000-04:00

Poor vain and insecure Jamie Foxx with his spray-on wig. He looks like such a fucking retard with his helmet on.

Thanks Concrete Loop

Umm Sorry Jess, That's Not Going to Happen

2006-10-10T16:09:00.000-04:00

Jessica Simpson has been spreading the word that she'll be playing opposite Luke Wilson in Blonde Ambition, but it looks like no one told Jessica that's not going to happen. According to MSNBC, Wilson's people are trying to slow down the rumors, and others say Wilson has absolutely no interest in working with Simpson.

In September, Jessica lamented that she was "preparing myself" for the inevitable November tabloid covers that would link her to Wilson when she starts filming a role as his love interest in "Blonde Ambition." And just last week, she told Jimmy Kimmel, "I’m going into doing another movie with Luke Wilson called 'Blonde Ambition!'"

But a rep for Wilson told Star, "This project is in talks." What's more, a source told the tab, "Luke Wilson will never do a movie with Jessica Simpson."

The insider suggests that the star's manager dad Joe Simpson has been exaggerating prospects for the flick. "Joe is telling Jessica he’s getting big stars," says the source. "Joe's been working on it for months. It'll end up having a bunch of nobodies if it happens. He was trying to get Meg Ryan to be the Sigourney Weaver character. It's such a joke. He’s been sending out half-written scripts with personal letters to stars asking them to be in it."

Does Jessica realize that she is now considered BOX OFFICE POISON? Seriously, her father needs to stop whoring out his daughter and his daughter needs a new freakin manager.

We're also guessing that Papa Joe told Jess to wear this shirt (above) for the paparrazzi. "No sweetie, I can't see through it, it's fine."

thanks to EgoTastic for the story

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